


Chemistry and Conservation

by raptorginger



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Explosion, F/M, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Past Abuse, Quickly resolved angst cause i ain't here for that, Some angst, any excuse for smut, cameo appearance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-03-23 14:48:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 40,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13789980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raptorginger/pseuds/raptorginger
Summary: Rey Jinn works as a conservator at the University of Hosnia.  She was perfectly content; she didn'taskto teach a class this year.  She also didn'taskto bump into the attractive and incredibly brilliant visiting researcher, Ren Solo.  She did kind of ask to go home with him though.Ren Solo, brilliant chemist with a dark past, was just looking to put his past behind him and advance in his field.  He didn't count on finding happiness, didn't think he deserved it, until Rey Jinn showed him otherwise.





	1. Introductions, or The Young Doctors

“Excuse me, I’m looking for a Doctor Ren Solo?”  
Ren turned, book in either hand, toward the soft knock on his new office door. Before him a small young woman was peering at him with a perplexed expression, as if he was a grad student rifling through a new professor’s belongings. Ren was aware that he didn’t look like the typical chemistry professor. He’d earned his doctorate fairly young and had been published numerous times since. He should be a greying old man given his status and accolades in the science community, but he wasn’t. His thick black hair was unkempt, no trace of grey at thirty-four, in need of a trim or two. He was almost excessively tall at six foot three and fairly broad for a man who spent a lot of time in a lab or behind a computer. His dark brown eyes were intense, piercing. His mother called him “brooding.” His previous students had called it “perpetual resting bitch face.”

Ren set his books next to the box on his desk he was unpacking and approached the woman.  
“That’s me,” he said, his voice pleasantly deep. He leaned against the door jam, taking her in. She was quite pretty, her deep chestnut hair swept back in a low ponytail. Her skin was pale as alabaster-clearly she spent more time indoors than he did-with dark circles under her eyes and a smattering of freckles across her nose and cheeks. She was young; Ren guessed she was a grad student. She had a heavy tote bag slung over her shoulder, a couple of books under her arm. Ren looked down to meet her gaze-she was a great deal shorter than him, although, who wasn’t- and his breath nearly stopped. Her eyes were a grey shade of hazel with a ring of green around the edges. Rays of warm brown radiated from her pupil, like little suns. Must be contacts, Ren thought, giving himself a shake.

The woman’s rosy lips broke into a small smile. “Wonderful! Doctor Hux wanted me to give you this.” She held out an envelope to him with her free hand. Reaching to take it from her, his fingers brushed hers. He felt something akin to a mild electric shock. Ren sought her gaze again, but she was looking at their outstretched hands. She let go suddenly and looked up at him again. 

“What is it?” Ren asked. He wasn’t sure if he meant the letter or not.

“I’m sure it’s just an introduction letter or something. Welcome to the faculty, that sort of thing,” the woman shrugged. Her hand went to adjust the strap of her tote bag, which was attempting to pull the collar of her shirt over her slim shoulder. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. She was avoiding his gaze now. She probably had somewhere to be, but Ren wasn’t ready to see her leave just yet.

“Isn’t Doctor Hux in his office?” Ren asked, wondering why the Head of the Chemistry Department couldn’t be bothered to give him an introductory letter himself.

The woman rolled her eyes. “I’m sure. He just likes to inconvenience me.”

Ren gave a slight laugh, the corners of his mouth upturned slightly. Doctor Hux was clearly that kind of professor-the one who’d rather inconvenience his students rather than do something himself because his time was just too important to waste. “Why would he do that?” he asked, almost rhetorically. 

The woman opened her mouth to answer when a shout came down the hall “Kitty! We’re gonna be late for lunch! Hurry up!”

Ransom raised a dark brow at the diminutive. “Kitty?”

The woman laughed, a faint blush creeping over her cheeks. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t introduce myself. My name is actually Rey Jinn. Kitty is a childhood nickname that stuck, I’m afraid.” She hesitated, then held out her hand.

Ren felt a clench deep in his stomach and took her small hand in his much larger one, giving it a slight shake. Ren’s hand tingled pleasantly in hers, the feeling in his stomach drifting lower. “Pleasure,” he said, his voice a bit deeper. Rey’s gaze dropped to their clasped hands, her smile relaxing slightly into something else.

“KITTY!”

“Sorry, I better go. Good afternoon, Doctor Solo.” She dropped his hand and turned to make her way down the hall.

“Good afternoon, Miss Jinn,” Ren called out.

“Oh! I prefer my colleagues to call me Doctor Jinn,” Rey called over her shoulder.

Ren watched her run down the hall toward her apparent companion, dumbfounded. Shaking his head like a stunned dog, he turned and went back into his new office to unpack more boxes, thinking about Doctor Rey Jinn.


	2. Maz's, or Maz Thinks the World Might End if You Order Something Different

“What was that about?” Finn asked Rey as they made their way to Maz’s to meet Rose and Poe.

“Oh, Doctor Pain-in-the-Ass wanted me to give the new guy a letter. Couldn’t be bothered to do it himself so he asked his least favorite person,” Rey replied, waving her hand dismissively.

“That guy’s a professor!?” Finn asked incredulously. “Do people get doctorates at like, what, twelve now?”

“Yes,” Rey replied distractedly, ignoring Finn’s little joke. Doctor Solo was obviously younger than the average professor, but she could hardly judge. She herself had earned her doctorate at twenty-two, four years ago. Her mind drifted back to his dark eyes looking into hers, her hand in his. There had been... a warmth that she couldn’t quite identify. It was disconcerting. 

“Huh. Wait, isn’t he that big deal chemistry genius guy the University’s been trying to get since forever?”

Rey shook herself out of her reverie. “Uhhh, yeah. Yes, that’s him. Guess Hux finally got what he wanted. He probably sees it as the University’s apology for making him let me teach a class this term. As if I even asked to!”

Finn glanced at his companion sympathetically before turning his attention back to the road. He knew better than anyone that Rey prefered to be left alone in the University’s conservation lab. She hated being in groups of people and teaching was nigh unthinkable. Finn knew too that Doctor Hux didn’t think highly of Rey, despite all her accomplishments. He considered it some kind of personal attack when the University asked him to have Rey teach a class with the chemistry department that term. While Rey worked full time in the conservation lab, her doctorate was in chemistry, and the University wanted to offer a class that bridged to two. Apparently there had been enough interest from the student body to warrant the creation of a new trial course for the term.

“Just think of it this way, it’s a great opportunity for you to get students interested in hard science to think about careers other than the obvious,” Finn offered helpfully.

“I know,” Rey replied forlornly. “Just you know, people. And I’ll have to take time out of work!”

“It’ll be alright. They’re science-y people, not disinterested freshmen or anything.”

“That means they’ll actually be paying attention.”

Finn laughed, seeing the smirk on her face. Both lapsed into thoughtful silence for the rest of the ride to Maz’s, a popular restaurant close to campus. Finn backed expertly into a parking space. He turned off the car and went to open the door. “You coming or not?” he asked jokingly. 

Rey hadn’t moved. She jumped, startled. She hadn’t realized they’d arrived. Her mind kept wandering back to Doctor Solo. Ren. The look on his face when she said “Doctor Jinn.” Like he had found something fascinating he wanted to examine. The thought of him talking to her in that deep hypnotic voice, looking at her with those piercing, dark brown eyes, it made her blood run a little faster. She could feel a slight blush creeping into her cheeks. “Of course! Just...thinking.”

Finn waggled his brows. “Oh really. It wouldn’t happen to have to do with Mr. Tall, Dark, and Intense would it?” 

Finn could always read her like a book, ever since they were kids. “Of course not!” Rey replied in what she hoped was an indignant voice. “Just Hux and this class and stuff.”

“Uh huh. Cause you totally blush like that when you think about Hux and this class and stuff.”

Rey hit Finn in the arm. “Shut up. Let’s go have lunch with your crush and my best friend.” The arrow found its target. It was Finn’s turn to blush.

The restaurant was warm and inviting. Loud chatter filled the air as Rey and Finn made their way inside. The crowd made Rey uneasy-crowds always did-but she felt a little easier when she and Finn spotted their friends near a corner. Winding their way through the maze of tables, Rey and Finn finally reached Poe and Rose. 

“Sorry we’re a bit late; it was my fault,” Rey said.

“No worries! We just got here ourselves!” Rose said with a smile, gesturing to Poe. Both Rose and Poe worked in the Engineering department with Finn-Rose and Finn were researchers in the Engineering labs and Poe was a professor-and often came together while Finn tracked down Rey to their weekly lunches. 

“Yeah, no worries,” Poe said, giving Finn a side hug. Rey was pretty sure Finn’s crush on the dashing Engineering instructor was mutual. They both need a couple beers, Rey thought. Social lubricant, it does wonders for nerves. Rose gave Rey a knowing glance and rolled her eyes. She saw it too.

Rey and Finn pulled out their chairs and sat. Finn next to Poe, Rey noticed. A short, ancient woman appeared at the edge of the table as if by magic. Despite all outward appearances, the woman’s eyes were vibrant, almost ageless grey. “Hello kiddies. The usual, I presume?” she said, her voice strong and commanding.

“What would you do if we ordered anything else, Maz?” Poe asked jokingly.

“The world would probably end, Goose.” Maz replied scoldingly. “Better stick to the usual, just in case.”

“Will do,” Rose replied, laughing. Maz gave a contented nod and went off to put in their order. Their little group had been coming to Maz’s twice a week since they’d all joined the University staff a few years ago. Finn had brought a begrudging Rey along one day. She’d needed to meet more people, he had said. It had been a tough sell, but Rey was glad Finn had won in the end. She really enjoyed Poe and Rose’s company. She and Rose had grown very close over the couple years, and while she couldn’t quite wrap her head around Poe’s extroversion, Rey had come to like him all the same. 

Over their lunch, two BLTs for Poe, Reuben for Finn, chicken salad wrap for Rose, a kiddie size cheeseburger for Rey, and Cokes for all, they talked about everything and nothing. Poe made everyone laugh at inappropriate times, like when their mouths were full of food, Finn recounted embarrassing lab tales while Rose offered corroborating evidence, and Rey snarked about Hux and her new assignment with the Chemistry Department.

“Speaking of,” said Rose, “how’s the class planning coming?”

“Fine,” Rey said around a mouthful of burger. None of them bothered to be elegant around each other anymore. “Despite myself, planning this class out is actually kind of interesting. I’m, dare I say, excited, to see what kinds of students sign up to take the class.”

“As you should be! What you do is crazy cool!” Poe offered in his assertive voice.

Rey gave him a small smile. Few of the people she knew were truly interested in what she did. A lot of tech heads and her new colleagues in the chemistry field never paid her much attention when they asked her about it. “Thanks, Poe.”

“No, seriously!” he exclaimed as if he could hear her doubt. “You work with medieval shit and art! Not many people can say that they’re qualified not only to work on it to preserve it, but that they also know what the hell they’re looking at in the first place.” 

“Much less run chemical tests on it to see if it’ll, like, explode, when you touch it,” Rose added helpfully.

Rey smiled broadly. “Yeah, that’s me, medieval shit bomb diffuser.”

They all had a good laugh, paid their checks, and began heading out.

“Hey! What are y’all doing Friday night?” Rose asked.

Uh oh, Rey thought. Here it comes. 

“Nothing really,” Finn replied noncommittally.

“Whatcha got in mind, Tico?” Poe asked, his brown eyes dancing with anticipation. Poe was always up for whatever, especially when the words “Friday night” were uttered. Rey remained silent.

“What about heading to that fancy new place, whatsitcalled, Starkiller, for drinks and dancing?” Rose said enthusiastically. “You know, before we all have to get back into the yearly grind?”

“Sounds awesome!” Poe replied.

“I’ve been dying to check that place out! I hear it’s a favorite with the faculty, like, no students allowed!” Finn said. He turned to Rey, whose face had grown stoic. He pointed a finger at her chest. “You’re coming, Kitty.”

Rey rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “Seriously, Kitty? Come one, we’re not ten anymore.” Rose and Poe sniggered, missing the loaded exchange of expressions between Finn and Rey.

“Don’t change the subject. Come on! You could use the chance to unwind a bit,” Finn said gently. “I’ll help you pick out something killer to wear and we’ll have a blast,” he said encouragingly. Finn gave her his infamous puppy dog can’t refuse me face. It worked every time.

“Ugh fiiiiine,” Rey said in exasperation. 

Finn, Rose, and Poe gave a few happy whoops. Rey had to smile at their enthusiasm. Plans were finalized for 9:30PM at Starkiller. At least Rose and I might finally get Poe and Finn to confess their secret love for each other, Rey mused. And really, what’s the worst that could happen?


	3. Starkiller Club, or Nothing Bad Happens When You Wear Your Loubis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI, Rey's lipstick is Nars' Fire Down Below, literally the most flattering red lipstick for anyone since it's blood colored. I can't afford Loubis, but I can splurge on $26 lipstick once and awhile

Friday night had come much too soon for Rey’s taste.

This was the worst, Rey thought, getting out of the cab with Finn in front of the new club, Starkiller. It was sleek in design, all glass and metal and multi colored lights. Not your typical faculty hangout, Rey thought. Odds are that was just a rumor. More like grad students, young junior faculty like her and Poe, and younger University staff like Rose and Finn. There were a good number of people milling about outside, definitely NOT tenured professors, waiting for cabs or Ubers, having a cigarette or something more fragrant, waiting for friends. She could already hear the music coming from the club. It wasn’t House music, Rey realized, heaving a small sigh of thanks. At least there was that. House music provoked her migraines. She cursed Finn and his undeniable puppy dog eyes.

“Why did I let you talk me into this?” Rey groaned.

Finn just gave her a wide grin. “Because you love me, and I have puppy dog face.”

Rey scowled.

“Come on, you look beautiful. And you don’t have to talk to anyone if you don’t want to. And you’re wearing your Loubis! Nothing bad can happen to you when you’re wearing Loubis!”

Rey rolled her eyes. She had to admit, she did look pretty good-for her anyway. Finn had talked her into buying a warm light grey sheath type dress made of some soft silky material that hit just above her knees. It didn’t cling but instead moved around her, making her lithe figure seem more curvy than it was. The neckline was low and rounded, accentuating her small chest in a flattering way. Finn had even helped her pick out a black drapey elbow length cardigan to cover her back. The dress had a low back, and Rey didn’t like the skin on her back exposed. 

Normally she didn’t fuss too much with her hair and makeup, but something about Finn’s enthusiasm for the evening made her put in a little extra effort. Her hair was in soft beachy curls, framing her face. Her makeup was “natural” as the blogs said, merely highlighting her features rather than overwhelming them. The only exception was her red lipstick. The blogs had said if you were going natural on a night out, pick one feature to play up. Rey had a new red lipstick she’d been dying to try out but never had occasion to, so she went with that. She’d gotten it on a whim when she’d been at Sephora getting her favorite perfume. The salesgirl had assured her she’d “knock ‘em dead.”

And of course, she was wearing her Christian Louboutins. It had been a drunken purchase almost three years ago. She had been mooning over them for months, but she couldn’t justify the cost. One night, she, Finn, Poe, and Rose had gotten trashed on some cheap merlot at her apartment, and they drunkenly cheered her on as she hit the ‘Submit Payment’ button on the Louboutin website. She had forgotten all about it, until about a week later when a package arrived at her door with a receipt north of $700. Rey had gagged (and gagged and gagged), but couldn’t bring herself to return the gorgeous black leather heels with the iconic red soles. They were almost a work of art. The lines were exceptionally fine, the black leather practically glowed with warmth, and when she had put them on, that was it. Of course the four inch heels made her physically taller, but Rey had felt taller inside. She stood up a little straighter, held her chin a little higher, and felt more confident, even if she’d had to live on peanut butter and English muffins for two weeks.

Steeling herself, she slammed the cab door shut and following Finn toward the entrance of the club, her heels clicking pleasantly on the pavement. Finn offered her his arm, ever the gentleman, and Rey took it gladly. They cut a fine figure, with her so short and pale, and him so tall and dark. No one could mistake them for a couple though. Finn was like her brother, and he treated her as a sister, no doubt about it. He’d gotten his hair trimmed, Rey noticed. He was wearing charcoal grey pants and a off white sweater that complimented his dark skin. Rey thought the off white might turn out to be a mistake later in a club with drunks milling about, but she said nothing. She had known Finn since she was ten years old, and she could tell when he was pulling out all the stops. She could sense his feelings like he could read her expressions, or lack thereof. She sensed tension now. She gave his arm a reassuring pat and smiled up at him when he looked down at her, his warm brown eyes filled with that heady mix of worry and anticipation. “It’ll be alright, Finn,” she said softly as they approached Poe and Rose waiting outside, waving their arms frantically.

Finn gave her a small smile in return. “Thanks,” he replied, knowing immediately what she meant. He schooled his expression into his usual enthusiastic one and returned their friends’ wave. Rey did not miss Poe’s smile grow a little bigger and his eyes glow a little brighter when he looked at Finn. Rey let go of Finn’s arm, and they all huddled together against the chilly night, waiting to get inside. Rose nudged Rey when Poe gave a shivering Finn his tan leather jacket. 

At long last they made their way to the massive double doors, slate handles as big as baseball bats. Inside Starkiller was a crush of people in groups. Some crushed in front of the bar to the left, others crushed at the smattering of high tops to the right, and some crushed in front of the DJ booth toward the front (or was it the back?) dancing with the music. The lighting, as usual for clubs, was minimal, but punctuated by the occasional bright red, green, or purple streak. The inside was just as modern as the outside, all gleaming metal and glass. Cold and full of open spaces filled with people. Harried waiters and waitresses made their way through the throngs to the high tops, trays loaded with drinks, managing not to spill a drop. 

Poe, being the tallest, craned his neck to see if he could see a table. “There’s one!” he exclaimed as he began to dash towards his acquired target. Rey, Rose, and Finn followed quickly after. As they situated themselves, a tired looking waitress appeared at their side. Rather than shout over the music, she raised an eyebrow expectantly, pad and pen in hand. Poe looked around the group, held up four fingers and leaned toward her shouting, “Champagne! Second best you got!”

The waitress’ brow raised a tad higher, but she wrote it down and nodded, rushing away.

“That one’s on me,” Poe said as a response to Rose’s shocked face.

“Poe!” Rose exclaimed. “What the hell!?”

“Come on! It’s the last good time we’ll have before all the kids come back and the admin is breathing down our necks,” he replied. “Besides,” he looked at Rey, his eyes dancing with laughter, “we got Rey to put on lipstick. That’s an accomplishment worth celebrating.”

“Har har,” Rey replied. “Nice, Poe!” She picked up one of the those small bar napkins that are good for wiping off lipstick and nothing else, and wiped her mouth. So much for that, Rey thought. Oh well, lipstick stains are gross.

Poe simply stuck his tongue out at her.

Their drinks came surprisingly quickly, given how busy it was. Poe plunked down a handful of cash for the waitress. “Keep the change,” he told her. “Next one’s on one of them.” He jerked his thumb towards the three of them. His natural charm, and possibly the large tip, managed to pull a smile out of their waitress as she walked away.

Rey picked up her flute full of bubbling light golden liquid, giving it a sniff. The effervescence tickled her nose as she inhaled, but the fragrance was lovely. Floral notes hit her senses first, followed by yeasty bread. As she sipped, the taste followed the fragrance. There were the floral and fruity top notes, followed by the mellowing taste of yeast. Rey felt a warmth and calm pass over her, and she looked around her little group. Leaning back in her tall chair, she crossed her legs elegantly, holding her champagne close to her nose, her other arm resting over her midriff. They were all smiling and laughing with each other, and she couldn’t help but reciprocate even if she hadn’t heard the joke. Despite the surroundings, she was happy in that moment.

Their waitress, whose name was Jessika, managed to make it to their table pretty frequently for a place so busy. Each of them bought a round, and tipped well. They all had waited tables at some point in their past. Rose prefered fruity mixed drinks, Poe was a shot man, and Finn like his IPAs. Rey usually stuck to mixed drinks with gin or straight Scotch. Starkiller had a lovely lavender lemon gin cocktail served in an old coupe style champagne glass. After Rey asked for four glasses of water with their second round, the waitress brought over a pitcher and kept it full. It was Rey’s job to make sure they had the means to stay hydrated, even if she was the only one that partook. Rey didn’t particularly enjoy being drunk. After all, once she had bought $700 shoes while drunk. She’d been cautious since then. 

“Are you drunk enough to be any fun yet?” Rose asked Rey, swaying her hips as the song shifted to something slow. The DJ was playing a mix of things, some remixes of new hits and old 80s and 90s favorites. She had made her way from the dance floor back to their table where Rey was sitting. Rey had been reading a new conservation article her boss had emailed her on her phone when Rose approached.

“Someone has to watch our table!” Rey said indignantly, placing her phone back in her pocket. “And no, not drunk enough!”

Rose gave Rey a look that told Rey Rose wasn’t buying her excuse. As if Rose’s words were magic, Jessika appeared and placed a small placard on their tabel. ‘Reserved’ it said. Rey sighed and thanked Jessika. She gave Rey a smile, “Go have fun!” she said. “I’ll keep an eye on your table.”

“Thanks,” Rey said, trying to sound grateful. It must have worked, because Jessika nodded contently and left. Neither she nor Rose had brought purses; experience had been a wise teacher. They both tended to just get cash from an ATM or carry one card and keep their ID on them. Rey’s cardigan had a discreet but deep pocket, and Rose always wore pants with pockets, so they kept their cash, phones, and IDs there. But Poe’s tan jacket and their waters were still there, so Rey appreciated Jessika’s reassurances. Rey hopped lightly off her chair, letting Rose drag her to the dance floor where Finn and Poe were.

“Oh my God do you see what I see?!” Rose exclaimed loudly in Rey’s ear. She pointed to a spot ahead.

If she and Rose hadn’t been waiting for this for forever, it might have dropped Rey’s jaw, but as it was, it was about damn time. Finn and Poe were dancing together, in each others arms, eyes locked, almost blissfully unaware there were people around them. Rose and Rey approached them.

“ABOUT DAMN TIME!” Rose shouted, her arms crossed. Rey held her hand to heart and laughed, her other braced on Rose’s shoulder. Both Finn and Poe looked a bit sheepish, but didn’t stop dancing. Rey and Rose sorted of moved together, letting Finn and Poe finish their dance. When the song switched, Rose made to pull Rey towards the moving hoard, but Rey resisted.

“I need another drink before I can do this, Rose,” Rey laughed.

“Alright fine! Go get one at the bar. There’s a lull,” Rose replied and Finn and Poe pulled her into their little circle.

Rey smiled again and turned to go to the bar. The bartender was an impressively tall platinum blonde woman. Her face stern, but not unkind. She was placing some glasses in a sink when Rey approached.

“Hi!” Rey shouted to get her attention, taking a seat that allowed her to keep an eye on her friends. In deference to her, they were on the edge of the dancing hoard.

“What can I getcha, Smalls?” the woman replied.

“Umm…” Rey looked at the bar back wall. There were maybe four dozen or so bottles, each with a little spot light under it. 

“Why don’t you think about it and I’ll make my way back down,” the woman said, not unkindly.

Rey gave her a smile and went back to scanning the bottles. At the top, she spotted something she’d always wanted to try. Johnnie Walker Blue. It was expensive (top top shelf), but Rey figured what the hell. The platinum blonde made her way back down the bar to Rey.

“Make up your mind, Smalls?”

Rey made a face. “Yes. Johnnie Walker Blue. Neat.” Pausing a second, Rey added, “Make it a double.”

“You sure?” the woman asked, a hint of skepticism and maybe awe in her voice.

“Very. I’ve always wanted to. Figured what the hell.” She might have been a little tipsy at this point.

“Alrighty, Smalls.”

The blonde poured the drink almost reverently, handing it carefully with a napkin to Rey.

“How much?”

“Do you really want to know?”

“Well, yeah, I have to pay you,” Rey laughed.

The woman stared her straight in the eye, her pale blue eyes piercing. “I’m gonna give you a deal, since you and your friends have been so nice to Jessika this evening. $80.”

Rey balked inwardly, but she knew this had been coming. She reached into her pocket and found the crisp $100 bill and took it out. “Keep the change.”

The woman released her piercing gaze on Rey, took the bill and nodded her thanks, leaving Rey at the end of the bar alone, sipping the most expensive Scotch she’d ever had or probably would ever have in her life.

It was worth it, Rey thought, as she sipped the deep amber liquid. The burn was quite pleasant in her throat, unlike the cheap Scotch she’d had before. It had a mellow smoothness to it, and there was a smokiness in the nose that wasn’t in the taste, but it highlighted the flavors of honey, dark chocolate, and tobacco. Rey wanted to sit on that stool and sip her Scotch all night, but she could see Rose gesturing wildly to her. Rey waved and sighed.

Rey then saw Rose’s eyes go wide, and she hurriedly turned back to Poe and Finn, gesturing towards Rey at the bar. Rey, perplexed, saw Finn bend his head closer to Rose to say something as Poe leaned in too.

“What the hell..” 

“Mind if I sit...Doctor Jinn,” a familiar deep velvet voice whispered in her ear. There was a light touch at the small of her back as the stranger pulled out the bar stool next to hers. Rey’s stomach did a flip, not altogether unpleasant. Her blood warmed. That one she attributed to the double Scotch she was drinking, not to mention the cocktails from earlier, and not the featherlight caress of fingers across her back.


	4. Electricity, or Nights Are for Dancing

Ren had spotted her the moment he walked into Starkiller Club. She was with a group of three other people at a high top, a short Asian woman who he could tell was a spitfire, if the red streaks in her hair were any indication, a roguish dark haired type, and the black guy Ren had seen her with earlier that week. He’d felt the sting of jealousy when the rogue flashed her a smile, but it quickly dissipated when he saw him flash a broader one at her companion. No competition then.

He’d spent the days after their encounter outside his office thinking about her. She was like a song that got stuck in his head, he just couldn’t shake her. That feeling when they touched hands, he’d never felt that kind of...connection...before. He wanted to feel it again. He wanted things he knew he shouldn’t from someone he barely knew. To touch her again. He wanted to stare into her eyes again. He wanted to know what she’d feel like beneath his hands, beneath him. This had made him feel guilty at first, after all they were strangers more or less, but when he couldn’t get her out of his mind, he just decided to go with it. Maybe if he saw her again, he’d see how receptive she was to seeing him outside the office. Gauge her feelings. If she wanted nothing to do with him, then that would be that. If she was open to it, well, he’d be very interested to see how far she’d take things. 

She was apparently a colleague, although she’d never been at any of the meetings he’d been to, which he found odd. He was hoping she’d be at at least one so he could see her. Find out more about her. How someone so damn young had a doctorate. At least, he’d assumed she was young. Maybe she just had a really good skin care regimen. He didn’t care. But she hadn’t been there. When he’d brought it up casually to Hux, Hux had snorted derisively, “You can’t tear that girl away from her lab.” Apparently he hadn’t meant the Chem Lab, because when Ren had checked it out, she hadn’t been there. All the rest of the professors he’d talked to had kind of brushed off his question the same way, as if they didn’t like talking about Doctor Rey Jinn. It started to anger Ren. He stopped himself from looking her up on the faculty directory; that had started to feel stalker-ish to him.

He’d always felt his emotions strongly. “Still waters run deep,” his mother used to say when he was little. She was full of platitudes like that. That had certainly been the case for the past few days. Outwardly he kept himself composed through all the meetings with Hux and the Department planning for the coming academic year, what they hoped he could accomplish here with the University’s resources. Inside though, he was a mess. The image of her was never far away. Rey. He remembered everything. The way she blushed, her awkward shuffling when they’d talked, they way she’d try to meet his gaze but couldn’t hold it. How small she was, both in height and figure. She’d been maybe five foot four, if he was being generous, and her figure was lithe and athletic, much like an artist’s idea of a dancer. He remembered how he’d wanted to soothe the scratch marks her tote strap had left on her slim shoulder, preferably with his mouth. Ren tried not to think about that too much during the daytime. 

He’d dreamt about her at night when he slept. About them tangled together in his bed, sweating and moaning each others names. What he wanted to do to her, what he wanted her to do to him. How he’d take her, slow at first, then faster and harder until she was screaming his name. He wake up in a sweat, his erection fully hard, crying out her name when he brought himself to climax imagining it was her. This was getting out of hand.

He’d come to Starkiller Club on the advice of Christine Phasma. He’d met her coming in to the University of Hosnia’s HR building as she was heading out. He’d stopped her to ask if he had the right building for I-9 paperwork. That had turned into a whole conversation on the stoop. She’d been a member of the hospitality and business faculty who had decided to open the club, wanting to create a space for the young faculty, grad students, staff of the University, and the locals. The town the University occupied, Cardota, had a lot of watering hole options for undergrad students (large, loud bars full of cheap beer, specials on well drinks, and heaps of cheap fried food) and older faculty (stuffy restaurants with expensive wine and small portions) but nothing that catered to the upper twenties to early thirties. Phasma had wanted to fill a niche, and apparently she had, if the crowd tonight was any indication.

In spite of the crowd, his eyes had immediately found her. He hadn’t imagined he’d see her here, drinking and laughing with friends, although he supposed he shouldn’t be surprised. They all appeared young, vibrating with health and joy in one another’s company. A club on a Friday night wasn’t unusual for a group like that. He was glad. He’d stayed at the bar most of the night, Phasma refilling his drink of choice-gin and tonic-when he asked. Ren would often steal a glance at Rey and her group, drinking in the picture she made. Her hair was loose, the soft curls framing her face. She’d occasionally tuck an errant strand behind her ear, only for it to stubbornly fall out again. Ren’s fingers twitched. Her legs were crossed elegantly, one of her heels hooked over a bar of the chair frame to steady herself, her grey dress riding up enticingly mid-thigh, revealing more of her glowing skin. More sensitive parts of his anatomy twitched at that, and he downed his drink to stifle it. Damn he wanted her.

“Quit being a creeper and go talk to her,” Phasma admonished him.

Ren jumped, startled. “What? I wasn’t staring,” he replied defensively.

“I didn’t say that,” Phasma retorted, rolling her eyes. Before he could say anything back, she had made her way to another customer. 

Ren didn’t want to approach her when she was with her friends. He didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, or have to answer questions from her friends. He’d been told he had an intense presence that some people found intimidating, and he didn’t want to ruin their evening. Because he was technically her colleague, she might feel obligated to think about work or something, and their mood would be ruined. So Ren decided to stay put. Maybe she’d get up to dance later. That was something he could do something about. 

Eventually, her friends had gotten up to go dance, but she had stayed. She’d pulled out her phone and was studying something intently, occasionally typing something quickly. He thought about going to her then, but something held him back. Wait, the voice in his head said, patience. So he’d waited. To his surprise, soon after, her friend, the Asian woman with the wild hair, had pulled her to the dance floor. He saw her nearly doubled over with laughter, her hand on the other woman’s shoulder. She was beautiful when she laughed. Ren half got out of his seat before Rey started to make her way to the bar. She apparently needed a bit more courage before she could join her friends. Phasma, not one to miss anything, gave him what could only be described as a look and went to get Rey her drink. 

“She’s having trouble deciding, Creeper,” Phasma said when she returned to his end of the bar. 

Ren scowled at her.

“Don’t give me that look. Ahh, there it is. She’s made up her mind.” Phasma left to go fill Rey’s order. Coming back down, she pointed a finger at Ren’s chest. “Now if you don’t get your moody doctor chemist ass of that damn chair and go talk to her, I’m gonna force you out of it,” Phasma practically growled.

“Fuck you, Phas,” Ren growled back, draining his drink. He threw down a wad of cash and got up. Phasma smiled triumphantly, scooping up the money as he made his way to the other end of the bar. Rey didn’t see him approach, as she was watching her friends, sipping her drink. Scotch, he noted with a bit of surprise. 

Unable to help himself, he leaned down to whisper in her ear, his fingers lightly brushing the small of her back, “Mind if I sit, Doctor Jinn?” She was warm, and he felt the same tingling in his fingers he’d felt days ago. He pulled out the stool next to hers.

She turned quickly, obviously surprised. He face was incredibly close to his. She smelled of lemon and Scotch. Her bright hazel eyes widened, her lips parting slightly. Ren sat, still leaning in close, holding her gaze.

“Doctor Solo?” she said with surprise.

“Ren,” he replied. “What are you drinking?”

She seemed thrown off by his question. “Umm... Johnnie Walker. And call me Rey.” Her hazel eyes were bright as they stared into his. The crests of her cheeks were reddening. Her lips looked plush and soft. Kissable. It took great effort on Ren’s part not to see if he was right.

He changed the subject. Jerking his chin toward her group, he asked, “Those friends of yours?”

Rey looked over her shoulder. If she wondered how he knew she didn’t say anything. “Yes. Finn’s the well dressed one who was with me the other day, Rose and Poe are the others. I, umm, needed another drink before I joined them.”

Ren made a hmm sound in his throat. “Seems like you’ll have to cut in.” The rogue type, Poe she’d called him, and Finn were dancing together, and the Asian woman, Rose, had found a partner as well. Ren could swear Rose threw them a glance, returning her attention quickly to her partner. Finn and Poe both had carefully blank expressions, deliberately not looking in the direction of the bar. 

Rey turned back to face him, using a hand to pull her hair to one side, giving him a view of her neck. His eyes were drawn to her pulse point. Ren swallowed thickly, tearing his gaze back to hers. Her color deepened, as if she could read his thoughts. 

Her eyes quickly went to her glass, carefully studying the remaining amber liquid. “I shouldn’t have come. I hate this kind of thing. I’m no good at dancing anyway,” she rambled, her voice a bit higher than normal. 

“I take it your college experience wasn’t the typical one,” Ren replied, the corners of his mouth quirked into a smile, a subtle nod to her youth.

She looked up at him with a bemused smile. “I was a teenager, so definitely not,” she said, laughter in her voice. “I earned my doctorate at twenty-two, so no time for the ‘typical college experience.’”

Ren cocked his head, “Really?” Ren thought carefully on his next words. “Would you allow me to enlighten you on an aspect you missed out on?”

Rey gave him a puzzled and wary look. “What?”

“Dancing,” Ren replied. “Dance with me, Rey.”

It was less a question and more a command. Rey was inclined to say no, but she couldn’t bring herself to. The Scotch was having its intended effect. Besides, this whole night had practically been an impulse for her. Why not do one last impulsive thing? The man in front of her was attractive in an unconventional way, his soft mouth and nose slightly too large, his thick black hair unruly, covering his ears. His skin was pale with a slight scar running across his cheek. Rey looked into his eyes again. They were bewitching, the darkest brown she’d ever seen, and there was a kindness there. Rey held his gaze as she downed the rest of her Scotch. “Alright. Ren.”

Something primal flashed across his gaze as he stood. He held out his hand. She took it gingerly, his fingers closing over hers as he helped her off the bar stool and to the dance floor. He had a good eight inches on her, he realized. He found it strangely thrilling.

The electric warmth screamed through Ren’s body. Ren turned to Rey, realizing she was looking up at him, her lips parted, eyes bright and bewildered. He knew then she felt it too. Even if her expression hadn’t told him, the racing pulse he found in her hand would have. 

Reaching the mass of dancing people, Rey was turning to face him when he said, “No.” He let go of her hand and placed his hands gently on her hips, his fingers applying slight pressure, pressing her back closer to him, until she skimmed his front. “This kind of dancing is better done this way.”

She was tense. He flattened his hands against her hips, feeling her slightly protruding hip bones against his palms. Breathe, he told himself. He leaned down so he could whisper in her ear, “Close your eyes. You have to let the music in. Let it flow through you. Feel it guide your movement.” He slid his thumbs over her hips to get a better grip, moving her slightly to the beat of the song the DJ was playing. It was a pounding and sensual melody. Her breath hitched. He continued to sway her until he felt her get used to the rhythm.

Rey’s breathing eased, and she relaxed against him. Her hands, which until then she hadn’t quite been sure what to do with, fluttered down to rest over his. It was Ren’s turn for his breathing to hitch. He lowered his head a bit further until his chin was just above her left shoulder, and his cheek was resting lightly against her ear, taking in her scent. She wore a floral perfume, but beneath that he could smell something unmistakably her. “Yes, like that,” he purred.

She was better at this than she thought, Ren mused. Her body was incredibly responsive to the music. Her movements changed slightly when the music did, driving him wild. His fingers pressed into the tops of her thighs, the soft material of her dress only a thin layer between their skin, urging her closer. Her breathing was becoming more uneven, he realized. He made to lessen the pressure of his hands and fingers on her hips, thinking she objected, but Rey pressed on his hands to keep them where they were.

“Don’t,” she whispered. She raised her left arm, wrapping her hand gently around the nape of his neck, tangling her fingers into his hair. She pressed her back closer to him, until there was no space left between them at all.

Ren closed his eyes. He didn’t want to scare her off, make her angry. Breathe, just breathe. He felt her hand over his slide a bit lower so she could interlace her fingers with his. He tightened his grip, both of them clasping a bit of the dress’ skirt between their fingers. Fuck. 

“Rey,” he said thickly. He was losing control. This wasn’t supposed to go this far. But if they kept on like this, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from taking back to his place and fucking her senseless. Fuck it. “I...what do you want?” he whispered against her shoulder.

Her hand tightened at the back of his neck, fingers curling in his mess of hair, urging him closer to the curve of her neck. “You,” she whispered back.

A primal, throaty growl vibrated in Ren’s throat as he softly kissed the delicate curve of her neck. He felt her pulse thrum beneath his lips. “My place?”

She hesitated for a brief moment. Her hand gripped his tighter. “Yes.”


	5. Morning, or Mistakes We Knew We Were Making

Rey awoke to the ping! sound her phone made when she had a text. It was muffled, which was odd. It was usually right next to her on her nightstand, so she could hear it in case something happened at the library or the Conservation Lab. She opened her eyes, blinking slowly. She was lying flat on her stomach, her arms thrust under a soft down pillow. She was staring at a nightstand, but it wasn’t hers. Hers was an old wood antique she’d scrounged from a cute antique shop in Massachusetts. This one was sleek and modern. The digital clock said SAT9:14AM. 

Ok, it’s Saturday, that makes sense, Rey thought. She, Finn, Poe, and Rose had gone out last night, Friday night, to Starkiller Club. She wasn’t hungover, and she didn’t get drunk. She was pretty sure. Not that drunk anyway. She raised her head slightly off the pillow, trying to take in more of her surroundings. This was definitely not her place. The walls were painted a light grey color. The carpet, plush and expensive looking, was a darker grey. Directly across from her a few feet away was an open door that revealed a tiled floor and the edge of a bathtub. She could see a chair next to another door, which was also open, that appeared to lead into a hallway. What was on the chair made her cock an eyebrow. Her dress was thrown across the seat, her cardigan haphazardly draped across it. Her phone was weighing down one end, threatening to pull it to the floor. Her shoes had been kicked carelessly next to the chair. And hanging off one of the posts...something black and lacey...Rey squinted..was that...OH MY GOD!

It all came flooding back to her. The club, going to the bar, when he first touched her, the dancing. And then, leaving together in a cab. She’d held his hand tightly between hers in her lap. She had been nervous. She didn’t do this. Ever. He’s run his thumb across hers, almost as a reassurance. She’d rested her head on his shoulder. When the cab had pulled away, his mouth had been on hers, his arms crushing her body to his. Somehow he’d managed to open the front door that way, because he never let her go. The rest...Rey shook her head, scattering the memories. Remembering sent a wave of feeling through her that settled somewhere between her thighs, and she was not having any of that right now.

Her head snapped around to the other side. Beside her, on his side facing away from her, snoring ever so softly, was a sleeping giant. Potentially a giant problem. Ren. Doctor Ren Solo. The University of Hosnia’s newest professor of chemistry who was on a fast track to some of the highest honors in the chemistry field for his work. Hux’s prized catch. Her newest colleague. The man who was going to be in charge of the Chem Lab if he played his cards right, where a good deal of her legwork for the Conservation Lab took place, at the begrudging approval of the Chemistry Department.

Shit. She laid her head back down slowly towards the nightstand again, trying not to move too much in case he woke up. She wondered what her odds were of getting out of his bed and leaving his house before he noticed. She figured not good. Rey started to feel scared, vulnerable. She felt exposed. She curled onto her side, pulling the bed linens up to her chin, tightening them around her. She had to do something. She wished her clothes weren’t so far away.

Ren stirred beside her. She sucked in her breath, squeezing her eyes shut. Don’t wake up, don’t wake up, don’t…

“Rey?” his voice was deep and sleep slurred. He reached out a hand and gently touched her arm beneath the covers.

“Yeah?” she responded meekly. She couldn’t turn and face him. 

“You ok?” his voice was concerned. “Did I...was it…?” 

She turned to face him, still clutching the covers to her chin. He sounded so concerned, so afraid he’d scared her or hurt her or overstepped. His eyes were warm pools of deep brown, searching her face. She gave him a small reassuring smile. She released one of her hands from her death grip on his sheets and touched his cheek gently, his morning stubble scratching her fingers. He closed his eyes, placing his much larger hand over her smaller one, and sighed softly. She didn’t exactly consider last night a mistake, really. She didn’t believe in those kinds of mistakes. She was cursing her lack of discretion to holy hell, but she was not about to call what they did last night a mistake. It had been damn good. This was her hang up, and he didn’t deserve to think her jitters were caused by what they had done. He had asked, she’d said yes, and not because of the alcohol. Because she’d wanted to. Wanted him. 

And if she was honest with herself, she still did, but she was sure the feeling would fade in time. She bit her lower lip, thinking. She didn’t know what he wanted, what he thought this was. It would be best to leave now. Call it as she saw it. It had been a one night thing, a lapse in judgement on her part. They were colleagues at the University, and she didn’t want this kind of tension between them. No muss, no fuss. No lingering questions or awkwardness when they saw each other at the all staff welcome back party Monday night. They could be professional.

“Rey.” Ren’s voice brought her back to the present. Rey brought her eyes to meet his. What she saw made her toes curl. He had the same predatory look he had last night. His hand had moved from hers to her side, heavy on the curve of her waist. “Stop biting your lip,” he practically growled.

She stopped, looking sheepish. 

Ren sighed. His fingers began brushing slowly up and down her side. “I’m a pretty smart guy, Rey.”

She had to exhale a puff of laughter at that. “So I’ve heard.”

“And you’re a smart woman.”

She let out a slight laugh at that. “Yeah, I guess so.” Lapse in judgement notwithstanding. 

“And I think I know what’s on your mind right now.”

“Oh really? What am I thinking right now, Doctor Solo?”

His expression after she said that turned insides into warm honey. He continued, his voice thicker and deeper, “You’re worried. You’re worried because we work together and you think, somehow, people are going to find out and judge you for this. That they might use this as leverage against you or something. Because you feel like they’re looking for some excuse to get rid of you.” Rey ducked her head. He paused, “You’re worried I want something you don’t.”

She looked up at him again. “You’re good,” she said softly. Although he had missed his part in her worry. That she was worried that he might use this as leverage against her. Maybe try and take away her lab time or something unless she had sex with him. But looking at him now, she didn’t think he would. That he would betray her like that, or do something that petty. “You picked up on that?”

“It wasn’t hard. No one wants to talk about you. It was starting to piss me off.”

Rey laughed, “I’m not surprised. They all really wish the University hadn’t forced me into their particular ivory tower.” Ren looked like he was about to open his mouth to speak again, but Rey interrupted him, “Long story. Don’t ask.”

“Fine. As to your other point...Rey, look at me!” he commanded when she’d tried to duck her head again, to hide the growing blush on her cheeks. She looked up.

“This doesn’t have to be anything more than what it was, if that’s how you want it. Quite frankly, I don’t know what this is. I don’t like getting involved with colleagues either, and I’m not...great...at relationships.”

“That sounds like it’s based on experience,” Rey said. The idea stung; she wasn’t sure why. Not that she was a relationship expert or anything. Far from it. She actively pushed people away.

“Yeah,” Ren said, evasively. “If you want to walk out that door, and on Monday pretend we only ever met briefly last week, I won’t be offended, or whatever.” His creeping blush amused her. She realized then that this was probably just as awkward and confusing as it was for her.

Rey stroked his scratchy cheek and smiled up at him. “Thank you, Ren.” He smiled back. They lay like that for a moment, staring in each others eyes, grateful to be on the same level.

His light caressing of her side stopped then, his grip tightening on her hip. “That being said,” Ren purred, his voice soft as velvet, “I’m hoping you’d be willing to prolong our...lapse in judgement, just this once more.” The hand on her hip went around the small of her back, pulling her to him. 

Rey could feel the hardness of his erection against her stomach. Her eyes widened. Memories of last night came rushing out of where she had tried to trap them, shooting straight to the nerves between her thighs. Why the hell not. In response, Rey pressed her lips lightly to his, savoring their softness. His arms, thick bands of muscle, wrapped around her, holding her tightly to him as he deepened the kiss. 

He licked her bottom lip, and she opened for him willingly, his tongue slipping in to brush hers. Her hand slipped behind his neck, sliding up into his hair, her other resting on his chest, fingers digging into muscle. Ren pushed his rough thigh between Rey’s clenched ones, brushing the entrance of her sex slightly. Rey let out a gasp, realizing she was already wet.

Ren growled low in his throat, Rey’s gasp pleasing him. The fingers of her other hand threaded their way into his hair, scratching his scalp. She gave his hair a gentle tug, urging his mouth lower to her neck. Ren happily complied, his rough skin scratching her throat pleasantly as he kissed and licked his way to the sensitive area between her neck and shoulder. Rey’s breathing was growing uneven.

Ren brought one hand around to squeeze the curve of her ass, hitching her leg higher over his hip. He wrapped his fingers around her upper thigh, squeezing and caressing. His grip eased as he made his way up to the front of her hip. His fingers were teasing, featherlight, as he passed them over the place where her hip bone protruded slightly, down the front of her thigh and up the inside, every place but where she wanted them.

When his fingers brushed the neat thatch of hair between her legs, Rey’s hips jerked against his. She was panting now. “Ren,” she sighed. The fingers in his hair left to graze the planes of muscle on his back. She scratched him gently.

He was kissing her collarbone now, a thrum vibrating in his throat as she scratched him. “What, Rey?” he asked teasingly against her skin.

“P-please,” Rey whispered.

“Say it.”

Rey could only moan as he continued to tease her. “Ren please!”

“Say it!”

Rey moaned again. He had made her beg last night too. Barely above a whisper, “Ren, please...touch me.”

“And where should I touch you, Rey?”

This time she did whisper, “Where...where I’m wet. Please Ren.”

He obliged her, raising his head from her shoulder to look down into her eyes. She could feel the color in her cheeks. His color was high too. Rey cried out when his finger slid across her wet opening, parting intimately closed lips.

“Here?” Ren asked throatily.

“Oh God, yes!” Rey screamed.

Ren continued stroking her, the scent of her filling his mind like a drug. He watched her with heavy lidded eyes. Her eyes were closed, long dark lashes casting fans across her cheeks. Her nails dug into his back, causing his breathing to falter. She cried and her back arched off the bed with each slippery pass he made.

“Fuck, Ren!” she screamed. He thrust one finger into her, then another, pressing his thumb into the tight bundle of nerves and rubbing slowly with each thrust.

Her whimpers and cries were almost animal, and they drove him on. Ren could feel her muscles twitching. She was close. Suddenly, Rey grabbed his wrist, stopping him.

“I want you. You inside me. Ren, please,” she pleaded.

Ren looked down into her bright eyes and bent forward, kissing her gently as he withdrew his fingers, giving her one last stroke, causing her to inhale sharply. Breaking their kiss, he leaned across her and reaching for something on the nightstand. Rey scattered kisses across his chest, running her hands over his body. He leaned back, rolling over to his other side. There was the telltale ripping of foil. Rey sat up, wrapping her arms around him, kissing his neck softly. One of her hands went to his thigh, running her fingers gently up its length.

“This is a lot harder to do when you do that, you know,” Ren admonished. 

“I know. I thought you could use a little payback,” Rey replied coyly.

With a throaty laugh, Ren turned suddenly, grabbing Rey’s wrists, pinning her back down on the mattress, wrists above her head. Rey squirmed beneath him in anticipation. He brought her wrists together, holding them with one hand, the other running down the length of her, fingers splayed, passing over one small perfect breast, over the taut skin of her midriff. Ren pushed Rey’s thighs wider, grabbing his stiff cock, bringing it to her wet entrance. He bent his head down and kissed her fiercely, using his tip to tease her opening. Her cries were muffled by his mouth as he continued to tease her. Once her back began to arch, her wrists straining against his tight grasp, he entered her in a thick slide, letting out a low groan.

“Ren!” Rey cried as he filled her. She hooked her legs around his back as he began to thrust. 

“Goddamn, Rey!” He’d released his grip on her wrists, bracing himself on either side of her, palms pushing deep into the mattress. Her hands came across his back, nails digging into his backside. With each thrust thy cried each others names. When he was about to reach his climax, he reached down to where they were joined, stroking her clit until he found the small bundle of nerves. Rey keened as he rubbed the sensitive spot. Her climax came quickly, intimate muscles clamping deliciously around his rock hard length. Ren let out a strangled cry as his own came swiftly after. 

It took all he had not to collapse on top of the small woman beneath him. His head dropped to her shoulder, breath coming in pants. He felt her own labored breathing against his neck. She smoothed her hands up and down his back in soothing motions, helping him ride out the last tremors of his climax. She was throbbing around his softening penis. They remained like that for a while, saying nothing. Eventually, he slipped out. Ren rolled over, discarding the used condom in the bin next to the bed.

Rolling back over, he saw she had rolled onto her side and was looking at him with glassy, sated eyes and a small smile. She was radiant. He lay on his side, facing her, reaching out to smooth her hair, tucking a strand behind her ear. 

“I guess I should get up,” Rey said lamely.

Ren laughed. Rey’s smile grew wider as she laughed too. The insistent ping!ping!ping! of Rey’s phone in her cardigan pocket broke their laughter.

“Oh God! My friends probably think I’m dead,” she laughed. Turning back to Ren, she asked haltingly, “Umm, could you not look at me when I get out of your bed?”

Ren laughed hard at that, and laughed harder at Rey’s expression. She hit him in the arm. “Sure sure. I’ll get up too, how about that?”

“Fine. Just...don’t look.”

Ren chuckled. She moved to hit his arm again and he said, “Ok ok! Calm down. I promise I won’t look.” Ren rolled off the bed and went to the dresser in the corner.

Satisfied, Rey got out of bed and bolted to the chair with her clothes. Slipping on her underwear, she crouched and found her bra behind the chair. Satisfied she was sufficiently covered, she reached for her phone.

Five texts. The first had been sent last night, around the time she figured she left with Ren.

It was from Finn. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do ;0P JK, Kitty. We’ll be at your place when you get home for the LOWDOWN <3

Rey groaned. God dammit.


	6. Pancakes, or the Weight of Water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BB8 is a Shiba Inu!

Ren watched Rey get into the Uber that pulled up in front of his bungalow through the bay window, sipping coffee. By the time he’d put on some sweatpants, she’d already ordered the car and was slipping on her cardigan. He hadn’t looked, as she’d asked, although he’d wanted to. 

“I’m gonna go, umm, brush my teeth and stuff,” he’d said, jerking his thumb towards his bathroom door. It was lame, but he figured she wanted to wait for the car in relative privacy, avoiding small talk. He was horrible at small talk. She’d looked grateful. 

“Umm, thanks. Do you have another bathroom I could wash up in, or…” she’d replied, biting her lip and fiddling with her shoes in her hands. She’d looked so adorably embarrassed then. 

“Oh yeah, down the hall. Only door on the left.”

“Thanks. Umm, if I’m not here when you get out...umm…” she’d trailed off, not quite sure how to finish her sentence.

“Yeah, no worries, forget about it. I’ll see you Monday,” he’d said, turning to go to his bathroom. He heard her leave his room, padding down the hall. He’d brushed his teeth in a daze, mechanically turning on his shower to its hottest setting. As he leaned his forehead against the tile, water running down his back, he tried to process the last several hours. 

He couldn’t. He’d acted totally unlike himself. He didn’t get involved with colleagues. Although he’d been approached by a few in the past, he’d always brushed them off. His work had a tendency to consume him, and that had always driven the couple women he’d been with in the past away. 

But Rey. She’d consumed his thoughts unlike anyone he’d ever met or been with. Consumed him more than his work had. He hadn’t been able to focus all week. He had thought, when he saw her at Starkiller, that if they danced together, spent the night together, it would get better. That he could get her out of his head. 

It had been a stupid thought, he realized. It hadn’t worked. In fact, it had failed spectacularly. He wanted her more than ever. He wanted to lie in bed with her, hold her while they talked about everything and nothing. He wanted to know her. 

As he stood there, watching her drive away, he let out a deep sigh, running a hand through his unruly hair. How the hell was he going to function on Monday when he saw her again?

***

“Miss Kitty Kat! Where have you been?!” shrieked Mrs. Lao, Rey’s elderly landlord and next door neighbor as Rey made her way up the steps of her brownstone, Louboutins still in her hand. 

Rey groaned inwardly. Mrs. Lao had heard Finn call her that once, and she’d never forgotten it, and used it when she was mad at her. “Out, Mrs. Lao.”

“I was worried! I wanted to call the police!” Mrs. Lao stood on the shared stoop of their brownstone, hands on her generous hips, a frown on her wrinkled tanned face. “Thank God your friends came this morning, reassuring poor Mrs. Lao that you weren’t dead!”

Rey had lived next to Mrs. Lao since she’d come to the University five years ago to work in the Conservation Lab and finish her doctorate in chemistry. The Vietnamese woman had taken a grandmotherly interest in Rey and was fiercely protective of her long time tenant.

“Obviously I’m fine, Mrs. Lao. I’m sorry I made you worry,” Rey said apologetically, softening her tone. She did feel bad making the old woman worry. Mrs. Lao was the closest thing to a maternal figure Rey had left, although Rey felt far from fine in reality. The whole way back to the brownstone, she’d thought of Ren. She’d wanted to have the car turn right around, take her back to him. She wanted him to hold her, simply hold her, in his large arms in his beautiful living room that smelled like paper and old leather and coffee. She’d gotten a glimpse of a personal study on her way down the hall, and she longed to know what a published chemistry genius read and how he kept his books. 

She’d waited for the Uber on the seat built in to bay window, listening to the running water coming from Ren’s room. It had sounded like he was showering. She wondered if he was thinking about her like she was thinking about him, but had shook her head trying to get rid of the thought. They’d had a one night stand. They had said they were going to act like colleagues and professionals from now on. They hadn’t even exchanged numbers. That was as it should be. It was one thing to be a woman in the hard sciences. It was another to be the black sheep in an academic department. She was both. She’d had to fight incredibly hard to get where she was, and she didn’t want anything to jeopardize that. He’d seemed to understand, was on the same page she was. That was good! Then why did she feel so miserable? 

Mrs. Lao gave Rey a sympathetic look. Like she knew Rey wasn’t fine. She patted Rey’s cheek. “It’s alright, my dear. You are a young pretty girl. But, an old lady worries.”

Rey leaned into Mrs. Lao’s palm, giving her a sad smile.

Moving back, Mrs. Lao said turning to the door, “Now, your friends are waiting inside, making quite a ruckus. That pirate friend of yours brought his silly dog again.”

Rey rolled her eyes. Poe sometimes brought his Shiba Inu, Beauregard Buford, BB for short, with him when they all got together. He felt bad leaving him for too long when he was out, especially after working all week. The dog was adorable though, fluffy and orange and white with an intelligent but silly face, so no one ever objected. 

Rey walked into the brownstone with Mrs. Lao, the elderly woman heading to her door on the right. 

“Come down for dinner tonight, Rey. I’ll make your favorite,” Mrs. Lao said kindly.

“Thanks, Mrs. Lao. That sounds nice,” Rey replied as she made her way slowly up the stairs to her part of the brownstone. 

She could smell pancakes already. Reaching her door, she turned the knob, finding it unlocked, taking a deep breath before she entered. Why did I give Finn a key, she thought pushing open the door.

Her friends’ voice were loud and cheerful when she walked in, bombarding her with questions. She could see Finn was making pancakes in the kitchen. Poe and Rose were at the dining room table, cups of coffee clasped in their hands. They were all looking at her. BB was excitedly circling her ankles, giving her a thorough sniffing. Rey held up her hand. “Please hold all questions until I return,” she said in her best seriously joking voice. She disentagled herself from BB’s investigation, stepping carefully over scattered shoes. She reached into her pocket and tossed her phone, ID, and remaining cash into a bowl she kept on top of an old chest next to her door. They all watched her as she made her way to her bedroom. 

Reaching her bedroom, she closed the door behind her, resting her head against the warm wood, and closed her eyes. She threw her shoes toward the closet. Shit, I probably scuffed the leather. She rubbed her face, sighing. Get it together. One thing at a time. Take a shower. Slowly she made her way to her bathroom, peeling off her clothes along the way. She threw the bundle into the hamper next to the sink and turned on the water. She sat on the edge of the tub, her hand under the running water. She watched it in a daze. 

She turned and caught her reflection in the mirror opposite the tub. The skin on her shoulders and neck was kiss bruised and raw looking from Ren’s morning stubble. She blushed, seeing the raw skin around her nipples. Even though they weren’t there, she could see Ren’s handprints all over her. She turned the water temperature up, hoping it would soothe away the reminders of their...tryst. She stepped in, tugging the shower pull. She turned her face to the warm spray, letting it wash over her. As she went through her daily ablutions, she started feeling more normal. More like her usual self. By the time she towel dried her hair and dressed in her usual Saturday uniform, baggy black sweatpants and a plain grey fitted tank top, she was feeling more or less back to normal. Rey threw on an oversized zip up sweatshirt, rolling up the sleeves, and made her way back to her friends.

They were much quieter than when she had first walked in, but they were all looking at her expectantly, eyes dancing. Finn’s eyes held a more worried expression. BB ran circles around Rey as she made her way to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. She could feel their eyes on her. 

Rose finally blurted out, “Well?!”

Rey laughed. “What do you want me to say? I met a guy at the bar. We chatted. We danced. We spent the night together. We parted ways. The end.”

Rose squealed with delight and danced around the room. Poe let out a hearty laugh and hugged her. Finn raised an eyebrow, mouth full of pancake. He knew she was leaving out a pretty big detail. Rey gave him an imperceptible shake of her head. Not now. 

“You don’t do anything by half measures, do you?” Finn asked, jokingly. “When I said you needed to unwind, I didn’t think you’d take it so far.”

Rey made a face at him as she put a pancake on her plate. “Shut up, Finn.”

“So, how was it?” Poe asked as he sat back down, eyebrows waggling.

“Oh my God, next question!” Rey cried nearly dropping her butter knife, a flush rising to her cheeks.

“That good, huh?”

“Oh my God, shut up,” Rey muttered, focusing intently on spreading butter on her pancake.

Rose was still squealing as she sat back down, feeding BB a bit of bacon. “It’s alright, Rey. We’re just happy you went out and had a good time. It’s been a long time since we’ve seen you so relaxed, relaxed enough to dance, much less leave, with a hot stranger, and we just want you to be happy.” Rose placed her hand over Rey’s. In a gentle tone, she asked, “All joking aside, did you have a good time? Are you alright?”

Rey smiled looking over her little group, placing her other hand over Rose’s, giving it a squeeze. “I’m alright.”

Looking at Finn, Rey saw his warm brown eyes were filled with concern. Looking down, she whispered to herself, “I’m alright.”


	7. Monday, or Nothing to Remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where I start drawing on my experiences in a few different college towns in Michigan  
> Possible trigger warning for self harm: Rey snaps a rubber band on her wrist when she's anxious. I have past issues with self harm, so I wanted to put this up front, just in case

After her friends had left Saturday, Rey had tried to switch into her usual Saturday routine. She half heartedly threw some laundry in the wash, straightened her bedroom and study, and pushed the vacuum around. She found chores left her mind too idle, too prone to wandering to thoughts of Ren. 

She let out a frustrated snarl and threw the books she’d been picking up near her couch into the nearby corner. She stomped to her study, dragging out her paint box, easel, and a canvas to the living room. Dragging a large piece of drop cloth out from its hiding place under the couch, she set up her easel and canvas. She dragged a couple stools over from the breakfast bar, setting the paint box on one. Before she sat, she hit the power button on her stereo remote and blared some loud alternative music while she readied her palette. She didn’t worry about the neighbors. Mrs. Lao had had the brownstone sound proofed years ago after an underground rap group, Figran D’An and the Modal Tones or something, had moved in next door.

Satisfied with her music and paint choices, Rey picked up her brush and began to put paint to canvas. She never thought that much about what she was painting. She more or less went where her feelings told her. She found that was a good way to excise unwanted thoughts. Sometimes, the result was abstract, a deluge of color and brush strokes. Other times there was a definite image, formed precisely. Today was a mix of both. The deep warm blues, greens, and yellows flecked with white suggested a night sky. Large black and brown shapes resembled trees and vegetation. A reflective rippling surface was a lake, mirroring the night sky. Beside the lake, two figures stood in a tender embrace. The moon reflected off their delicate faces, revealing expressions of warmth and love. They wore fanciful clothes, she in grey, and him in deepest black. 

Rey refused to acknowledge that the figures bore any resemblance to her. Or Ren. They were simply generic figures, she reasoned. As she was cleaning her brushes, she heard a knock at the door.

“It’s open!” she called.

Mrs. Lao came in, the smell of a delicious dinner following her. “Dinner’s on, my dear!”

“Be down as soon as I clean up, Mrs. Lao.”

Mrs. Lao nodded, “Sounds good. My my! What a beautiful painting you’ve done my Rey!”

Rey blushed. “Thanks. Just something that was in my mind I guess.”

Mrs. Lao approached the painting, squinting to take in the details. “At first glance, it seems like a happy or romantic painting, but I feel a sadness the longer I look.”

Rey dried her hands with a towel as she made her way to Mrs. Lao’s side. “Really?”

Mrs. Lao nodded. “The lovers you’ve painted here, they seem happy in each other, but their surroundings...I feel a sadness there. I’m not sure, I’m just a silly old lady,” Mrs. Lao laughed.

Giving Mrs. Lao a brief side hug, Rey said, “You’re not a silly old lady, Mrs. Lao.”

“You’re very kind to say so, dear Rey. Let’s go eat.”

They’d eaten Rey’s favorite, Cha ca La Vong, a specialty using grilled fish and rice noodles from where Mrs. Lao was from in Vietnam. Mrs. Lao peppered her with questions about her work in the Conservation Lab and her new class. Rey had tried to seem engaged and enthusiastic, answering her questions in detail. If Mrs. Lao thought Rey was leaving something out, she didn’t mention it. Rey was grateful for that. Rey left after tea, promising Mrs. Lao that she wouldn’t stay up late. 

***

Sunday had passed quickly. Rey had been able to focus on her class, finalizing her syllabus and lesson plans for the semester. She sent several articles and her syllabus to Printing, making a mental note to pick them up on Monday. She made a checklist for the day, so she wouldn’t forget anything. Also so that she could focus on her work in the Conservation Lab the rest of the week. She was about to start an important assignment for Special Collections, and she wanted a clear head. She needed to set up her office in the Chemistry Department, print her class roster, organize her assignments and get those printed, there was the faculty welcome back...thing in the afternoon. Her head shot up from her laptop. Ren. He’d be there. She added one more thing to her to do list, a rubber band. It had been a trick she’d learned somewhere along the way. She wore a rubber band around her wrist and snapped it when she felt uncomfortable or embarrassed. She found it helped her refocus. She hoped to God it would do the trick. 

***

Rey had made her way to campus early Monday morning, stopping to coffee from Maz’s. She was in her new “office.” It was a generous term. She was pretty sure it had been a closet at one point that had been turned into an office space for grad students. Doctor Hux had begrudgingly assigned her a space in the building, so her students wouldn’t have to track her down in the Conservation Lab on the University’s South Campus. It was fine. She wouldn’t be here that often anyway, and there was room for a table and two chairs. It even had an outlet.

She’d brought a small desktop file organizer and organized her class papers into the different slots. She had a stack of the books she’d assigned her students in the opposite corner. Her laptop was plugged in, and she was typing a debrief for her boss on her last assignment for the Lab. It had been a relatively simple one, the rehousing of one of the University architect’s papers. They had needed some straightening out and a minor clean up. Galyn Erso had been a meticulously neat man, so his records weren’t in too bad of shape. She glanced at the computer’s clock and nearly choked. She was going to be late. The get together was in the Asoka Graduate Building’s main reception hall. It wasn’t far, but Rey would have to leave now to make it on time.

“Shit!” Rey snapped her laptop shut, yanking the power cord out from the outlet. She stuffed the machine into her bag, grabbed her keys, and ran out the door, slamming it behind her. As she turned to run down the hall, she smacked into something very solid and very warm.

“OhmyGod, I’m so sorry!” she blurted all in a rush. “I’m running late and I wasn’t…” she trailed off as she looked up at the figure who had grabbed her elbows to steady her, momentarily stunned as deep brown eyes held hers.

“Looking where you were going?” Ren finished, helpfully.

“Yeah,” Rey replied, an involuntary blush rising to her cheeks.

Ren smiled, still holding her. “No problem.” 

Silence swarmed around them for a moment as they simply stared at each other, neither quite knowing what to say. Ren realized he was still holding her and reluctantly let her go.

Rey cleared her throat, taking a step back. “We’re going to be late.”

“Right.” They both started walking briskly down the hall. 

They had made their way out of the Chemistry building before Ren couldn’t take the awkward silence anymore. Rey was looking anywhere but at him, nervously toying with the strap of her bag.

“Rey,” Ren said, running his hand through his hair. Not knowing what to say next, Ren let out a deep sigh.

“Why were you still at the office?” Rey blurted out. “I thought you would have made your way over early. Don’t you have to give a speech or something?” She rambled when she was nervous, and she did not want to talk about whatever he was trying to talk about. Keep it professional.

Ren looked down at her quizzically but said nothing. He returned his gaze forward and replied, “Is that really what you want to talk about right now?”

Rey looked up at him, her hazel eyes steely, and replied firmly, “Yes.”

Ren shrugged, “Alright. I was working on a computer model of a chemical catalyst I’m trying to develop, and I lost track of time. And yes, I am supposed to give a brief speech,” Ren grumbled. 

Rey’s eyes grew wide. “Really? To what end?” she asked, her embarrassment and unease forgotten.

Ren gave her a lopsided grin. It was adorable, Rey thought. “I want to engineer a cooling agent with the catalyst. Right now it’s only in my head and on the computer. I’m hoping that the University has the resources I need to finally engineer the chemical.”

Ren grew increasingly animated as he talked, Rey noticed. “What would the applications be for this catalyst?” she asked. Their pace had slowed, but neither noticed.

Ren looked at her, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Time travel,” he whispered conspiratorially. 

“You can’t be serious,” Rey laughed.

“I’m only partly kidding. I’m thinking it will have implications for quantum physics though, which indirectly could mean time travel.”

Rey’s hazel eyes glittered, “That’s incredible, Ren.”

A faint blush creeped into Ren’s cheeks. He replied sheepishly, “Thanks, Rey.”

Rey grabbed Ren’s shirt sleeve, “No really! That’s amazing!” He looked down at her and smiled, his warm brown eyes glowing. Rey felt her insides turn warm and mushy. She quickly let go of his sleeve, returning her attention to putting one foot in front of the other.

“What is it you do, exactly? Why were you running late?” Ren asked, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“I was debriefing my boss at the Lab about my last assignment.” She glanced at him, eyes dancing. “Nothing as interesting as time travel.”

Ren laughed. “The Chem Lab?”

“No. I’m actually a conservator. I work primarily in the Conservation Lab on South Campus.”

“What are you doing in the Chemistry building then?”

Rey bristled, getting defensive as she always did. “The University wanted me to teach a class this term. My doctorate is in chemistry, and they’ve had enough student interest to build a class.”

“Hey, no need to get defensive! I think it’s awesome what you do,” Ren said gently. 

“I’m sorry,” Rey said surprised. “Most people in your department don’t consider what I do a science or something worth doing. Do you know much about conservation?”

“I mean, a little, just in the definition sense. Why would they think that?” Ren asked.

Rey shrugged sadly. “I have no idea. Anyway, I was typing an email to my boss about Galyn Erso’s papers, and I lost track of time.”

“Wait, the Galyn Erso?”

Rey laughed, “Yeah, the Galyn Erso.” 

They spent the rest of their time to the Asoka Graduate Building talking about Galyn Erso and his additions to the University decades ago. Walking into the reception hall, most of the Chemistry Department was already there, milling about the room cocktails in hand. Rey fell silent, growing nervous.

“I see you’ve met our darling Doctor Jinn,” Doctor Armitage Hux practically sneered as Ren made his way into the room with Rey. Ren saw the light go out of Rey’s eyes, replaced by an expression of stoicism, her hands clasped behind her back. He heard a faint snap! beside him. He gave Rey a quizzical look, but her eyes remained on Hux.

“How good to see you again, Doctor Hux,” Rey said tonelessly.

Hux sneered at Rey, or perhaps it was a smile, and turned to Ren. “Doctor Solo. So glad you decided to join us here at the University of Hosnia. I’d like to introduce you to some of the colleagues you’ll be working with here.” Hux turned on his heel, apparently expecting Ren to follow. Ren looked at Rey, concerned.

“Go,” Rey said with a small smile.

Ren followed the gaunt red haired man reluctantly. Looking back, he saw that Rey had gotten a glass of champagne and was talking to some of the chemistry graduate students. He half listened as Hux introduced him to group after group, parading him around the room like he was a prize dog. His palms began to get sweaty, which always signalled an incoming sense of panic. Scanning the room for something to calm himself down, Ren’s eyes always found Rey. She was a bit more animated than when they had walked in. The grad students were making her laugh. Ren could hear it, just beneath all the chatter of the people he was supposed to be engaged with. It was a beautiful sound. Then, he saw something that made him frown. Around her left wrist was an angry red ring. What the hell?

“Doctor Solo,” Hux had snuck up behind him while he was trying to figure out what was happening to Rey’s hand, “perhaps you’d like to address the room?”

“Of course, Doctor.” It was the last thing he wanted to do. He made his way to the podium and brought the room to attention. He hated giving addresses or speeches like this. But, in his position, it was often unavoidable. He’d practiced a few calming techniques he’d found in the Internet, but they weren’t super effective. He scanned the sea of watching eyes, panic starting to settle in earnestly, and saw Rey. She was watching him intently, concern written on her face. When he met her gaze, she gave him a small reassuring smile. He began talking, not really conscious of what he was saying as he’d memorized his speech by rote. Whatever he said, it must have come off well because the applause was enthusiastic. Having a politician mother had its perks he supposed.

He stepped down and accepted a tumbler of whiskey from an elderly professor. Several clapped him on the back as he made his way around the room, setting his whiskey down discreetly. Alcohol never helped his attacks. The attention sent him spiraling further into a panic attack. He was going to Rey, he realized. He craved her nearness, her smell. He had finally made it to where he’d seen her from the podium, but she wasn’t there. He asked a nearby grad student where she’d gone. After a bit of stammering, the grad managed to say that Doctor Jinn had to leave. Ren turned for the door just as she was exiting with a few others. He made his way after her. Coming up behind her, Ren grabbed her wrist, the uninjured one he made sure.

“Doctor Jinn,” he said, more urgently than he meant to.

Rey turned, frowning up at him a bit. “Yes, Doctor Solo?” she replied. 

Ren waited until the others had left before he pulled her to a side hallway away from the noise of the reception. He wasn’t thinking rationally he realized. He just needed her.

“What the hell are you…” Rey whispered as he crushed her in his arms, his head dropping to her shoulder. He focused on taking deep breaths, breathing in her scent. She smelled of something warm and floral, something like how he thought summer should smell.

Realizing he wasn’t quite himself, Rey slowly wrapped her arms around his middle, making soothing circles on his back. “Hey, it’s alright,” she whispered to him as she smoothed her hands over the strained muscles in his back. Eventually, she felt his muscles relax, his breathing growing more slow and even.

“Panic attack?” she asked sympathetically.

She felt him nod in response, nuzzling further into the crook of her neck. She held him tighter. 

Eventually, Ren released her, but he didn’t step back. He reached for her wrist, the one with the rubber band. He held it up. It was red and raw. “Rey, what is this?” he asked concerned, running his thumb gently over the marks the band had made.

Rey made a face and stepped back. “It’s how I deal with my discomfort and embarrassment. And wanting to punch Hux in the face.” 

Ren continued to soothe the marks, as if he could make them go away, looking intently at Rey. She couldn’t break his gaze, her lips slightly parted, as if she’d been about to say something. Still holding her gaze, Ren brought her wrist to his lips, kissing the tender flesh gently.

“Ren, you can’t. We agreed. Please,” she said quietly, desperately. Logically, Rey knew what they’d agreed to, what was best, but the larger part of her didn’t want him to stop.

“Rey, I...I think we need a new agreement,” Ren said huskily.

Rey’s eyes widened. This is what he’d tried to say earlier. Panic overtook her, and she tore her wrist out of his hand. “No, Ren. I can’t do that.”

“Rey...” He tried to reach for her.

“No!” she whispered urgently, twisting away from him. “I can’t. I just….can’t give you what you want.”

Before Ren could reply, Rey turned and ran down the hall, every nerve in her body screaming at her to turn back.


	8. Forgeries, or Our Lies Become the Stories We Tell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which I put my Master's degree in medieval history to use, because gods know I don't use it in my current job

Rey avoided the Chemistry Office for the next few weeks. Although she told herself she wasn’t avoiding it. After all, she had a lot of work to do on the collection donated by Magister Hugo Snoke, one of the few remaining members of the ancient noble House of Plagueis. Although nobility didn’t matter so much these days, Magister Snoke was a major donor to the University. Rey didn’t care too much for Snoke’s politics and meddling in the University affairs, but the Special Collections department wanted to put on a exhibit about the history of House Plagueis using the materials and much of it needed cleaning and stabilization before that could happen. Despite her personal misgivings- Snoke’s interfering didn’t affect her too much after all- Rey threw herself into the job, working long hours and worrying her friends and Mrs. Lao. 

Finn and Poe had come over to her brownstone one weekend bearing blueberry muffins and the artisanal coffee Rey loved from Intelligentsia, trying to coax her into talking about what was wrong, but Rey refused to talk about anything other than work. They both had left in exasperation, grumbling on the way out. Rose sent her numerous texts, trying to pry information out of her, but Rey only offered non-committal and evasive answers. Mrs. Lao simply tutted and tisked and tried to make sure Rey ate and slept enough.

The week before the semester was to begin, Rey was hunched over her desk in the Lab, examining what was probably one of the most important items in the collection. It was the charter granting the House of Plagueis the rights of a noble house, dated 984. Many such noble houses had these charters, issued by old kings before The Fall of 1189. Several were fakes, actually forged centuries after The Fall in the eighteenth century by enterprising merchant families with new money wanting to claim a connection to ancient bloodlines. Many documents had been destroyed during the violent event, and the legitimacy of such charters was hard to prove outside careful examination by scholars and carbon dating. Several so called noble families had suffered mild social embarrassment when it came out that they were not in fact descended from an ancient bloodline predating The Fall, but rather from a merchant family. Centuries had passed since then, so no one took it very seriously, but it was often a source for gentle teasing amongst the upper classes nowadays.

No one doubted the legitimacy of House Plagueis. Controversial and feared in the past, the House nevertheless commanded respect and admiration from society’s upper crust. Their numbers had dwindled to only a few remaining descendents, Magister Hugo Snoke among them. 

Rey was wondering where to start with the charter when she heard the intern, Kayleah Connix talking to someone. Rey paid it no mind and grabbed some vinyl eraser shavings to start cleaning a corner of the vellum document when she saw Kayleah come up beside her.

“What is it, Connix?” Rey asked distracted. She was usually friendly with Connix, but she really didn’t want to be bothered right now.

“Umm, there’s someone to see you,” Kayleah replied quietly.

Rey looked up. “Why are you whispering?” she asked jokingly, voice matching Kayleah’s whisper.

“I don’t know. The guy makes me nervous,” Kayleah replied, still whispering.

Rey raised an eyebrow. “Why did you let some creep in the lab?”

Kayleah’s eyes widened. “Oh he’s not a creep! He’s just really tall. And...intense.”

Rey’s stomach could have auditioned for Cirque du Soleil at Kayleah’s comment. 

“Will you talk to him?” Kayleah asked, her head tilted. Rey’s face must have gone pale.

Rey could only manage a nod. Kayleah turned and called the visitor over, then left for her desk. Part of Rey really wished Connix had stayed. She did not want to see him. She couldn’t lie to herself annymore; she’d been avoiding him, not that she’d tell him that. She turned her attention to the document in front of her, hands in her lap. She focused on differentiating the letters in front her. Dum in dei nomine…

“Rey.” 

She closed her eyes. His voice shot straight through her, down to her core. She took a deep breath.

“Ren, I don’t want to talk about this,” she said angrily, finally looking at him. Big mistake. His eyes were filled with a gentle warmth that made her insides feel all twisty. “Plus, I’m busy.”

Ren didn’t look upset, rather he looked mildly concerned. Gently, he said, “I know. I came to apologize. I wanted to earlier, but you haven’t been around the office for awhile.” He gave a one shouldered shrug, “I figured I’d try you here.”

 

Rey leaned back, crossing her arms protectively in front of her, looking at him, waiting for him to speak his peace.

Ren sighed, “You made it clear what you wanted, and I should have respected that. I’m hoping we can be friends, or at least people that speak to each other once and awhile. I don’t want to lose you, Rey. I’m sorry.”

Rey uncrossed her arms, hands returning to rest in her lap. “Thank you,” she said softly. Her gaze dropping. “I’d like to be friends too.”

“Does that mean you’ll stop avoiding me then?” Ren asked teasingly.

Her eyes shot back up to him. “I wasn’t avoiding you. I’ve been busy here,” she replied defensively.

“Doing what?” Ren asked, playing along, looking interestedly at the document in front of her.

“Working on the collection Magister Snoke donated. Spec wants to exhibit it, and it needs work.”

“What is this?” Ren pointed to the charter on her desk.

“That is the original charter granting House Plagueis the rights of a noble house in 984,” she replied, somewhat proudly.

“Seriously?!”

“Yup. I’m surface cleaning a couple spots, then I’ll work on stabilizing the seal.” A large red wax seal hung from the end of the document. The ribbon attaching it was in rough shape.

“Can I watch?”

“If you stay out of my way and keep quiet.”

Ren crossed his heart. “I swear.”

“Fine, you can stay.” Rey turned back to the document, gently rubbing the eraser shavings over a spot of dirt in the corner.

Ren pulled up an empty chair, folding his large form into it, leaning forward to get a better look. “What are you doing right now?” he asked quietly.

“Doing a minor surface cleaning using vinyl eraser shavings,” Rey replied, brushing away the soiled shavings with a soft brush.

“What’s that?” Ren asked, pointing.

“What’s what?” Rey replied, looking at him quizzically.

“That. By the third line. It looks like scratches.”

Rey looked closely, bringing her overhead light closer and angling it. There were indeed a few faint scratches by the third line.

“Hmm. Probably from when whoever scribed this cleaned the vellum. Vellum was pricey, and oftentimes scribes would use a piece that already had writing on it that wasn’t considered important or worth keeping. They’d wash the writing off, then scrape it clean.”

“Really? Is there anyway to know what was there before?”

“Probably not in this case. Sometimes UV light or other special lighting can be used, but this looks like a pretty thorough job.”

Rey stopped suddenly. Something in the third line was bothering her. Early Medieval script was difficult to read. Punctuation and spacing didn’t exist, and that leant itself to some fairly consistent lettering. There was a flaw in the middle on the line of text. An extra line beside a letter that didn’t belong there. She grabbed her magnifying glass and looked closely at the spot. She was right, a mistake had been made. That wasn’t uncommon, but this particular mistake changed the meaning of the word. She frowned.

“What is it,” Ren asked.

“I’m not sure. There’s a mistake in the third line. Like the scribe wrote the wrong letter, tried to fix it, then wrote over it. I see that a lot, but this letter changes the meaning of the word. That’s not something you see often.”

“What’s the word mean?”

“One way means ‘Grant.’ The other means ‘Rescind.’” 

“How can you even tell what it’s supposed to be? Everything’s squished together.”

Rey laughed, looking over at him. “I studied Paleography and Codicology as part of my Medieval Studies master’s program. You get used to it.”

“Let me get this straight, you have a doctorate and a master’s? How old are you?”

Rey laughed again. “Twenty-six. And I have two master’s”

At Ren’s expression, Rey held up a hand. “Long story. Short version, I tested out, got to start college early under a special program.”

Rey sat back, studying the document again. This was by no means her area of expertise, but the letter change made her uneasy. The rest of the document looked normal for what it was. Rey looked closely at the seal. It wasn’t in the best shape, but she’d seen worse. It was the royal seal of King Raholf, a relatively well known king who had been killed by a small group of his nobles. They had destroyed a great deal of material related to him, seals, cartularies, artifacts, trying to erase him, but it hadn’t worked. The people had loved King Raholf and took revenge on the nobles. They had tried to claim they were acting under orders, but the people wouldn’t have it.

Something wasn’t right. She grabbed her magnifying glass again. King Raholf’s seal always portrayed the king seated on a throne, scepter in one hand, orb in the other, with a canine rampant beside him. Many scholars considered the canine an odd choice, but Rey always found it charming. Other kings always had a boar or a stag or some other fearsome impressive creature, but Raholf had chosen a dog. There was a canine, but it didn’t look right to Rey. It was too big and the face was deformed. Originally she had attributed it to age and wear, but under the magnifying glass, she saw something that made her doubt. She gasped.

“What is it now?” Ren asked, pressing forward.

Rey sat back, stunned. “Ren, I...I think this seal has been tampered with. There’s evidence of tool marks. Like someone melted the wax and reshaped it to look like the canine rampant on King Raholf’s seal.”

Rey looked at Ren, her eyes wide. “Ren, I think this is a forgery.”

Ren whistled low. He was no history scholar, but he knew the reputation of House Plagueis. “Rey, do you know what you’re saying?”

Rey looked dumbstruck. “Connix!” she called.

Kayleah came over, looking curiously at Ren, wondering why he was still there. “Yeah?”

“Get Doctor Skywalker on the phone,” Rey said urgently. “He needs to see this.”

Kayleah’s eyes widened. She knew Doctor Luke Skywalker’s specialty was medieval forgeries. “Seriously?”

“Way seriously,” Rey replied.

Kayleah ran to their boss’ office.

Rey looked to Ren. He had an odd look on his face, like he’d eaten something sour.

“What’s the matter?” she asked, confused.

“You wouldn’t be referring to Luke Skywalker, would you?” he asked, his voice dangerously low.

“Yeah, he knows more about forgeries than anyone else on campus. I can’t take samples of the vellum, ink, and wax for chemical dating until my boss gets back from vacation and gives me permission. Besides, he can tell me if I’m wasting my time or not,” Rey replied. “What’s it to you?”

“He’s my uncle. We umm...haven’t seen each other in awhile.”

Rey reacted with surprise. Luke was a gruff elderly professor, but he had always treated her with respect. She imagined having him as an uncle probably wasn’t easy though.

“Long story,” Ren said, using her line from earlier to avoid a deeper explanation.

Rey frowned, but let it pass. Kayleah poked her head out of the office, saying “Doctor Skywalker said he’d be down tomorrow. He’s on the Council today.”

Rey sighed but nodded. “Okay.”

“Hey, you should go eat something. It’s past lunchtime and all you’ve had today was coffee,” Kayleah admonished. 

“What are you, my landlady?” Rey asked grouchily.

“No, but she did text me to remind you to eat.” 

Rey grumbled and groused as she got up. She regretted giving Mrs. Lao Connix’s number. It was supposed to be for emergencies only. Her back was stiff, and she rubbed it, trying to ease her tense muscles. 

“You need your back cracked?” Ren asked. 

Rey turned and found him standing behind her. “Umm…” was all she could get out.

“Here. Stand still and cross your arms over your chest.”

Rey blushed but did as he said. He came up fully behind her, placing one foot beside each of hers. Bending to get his arms across her, he grabbed her elbows and lifted her up off the floor, holding her to him as he straightened to his full height. As he raised her, Rey felt what she was pretty sure every single one of her vertebrae crack back into place. A hiss escaped from between her teeth as he set her down.

“Better?” Ren asked, smiling. 

“Actually, yeah,” Rey said surprised. “Thanks.”

“Well, I better go. You need to eat,” Ren said, shuffling his feet. 

“Yeah,” Rey said awkwardly. Her mind went blank. Did friends get lunch together? She was fairly certain they did.

Kayleah called out, “Rey you didn’t bring lunch today! You’ll have to go grab something! Hey, Stranger, make sure Rey gets something to eat or her landlady will kill me.” 

Ren coughed into his hand, stifling a laugh as Rey turned and glared at Kayleah. Kayleah returned her glare with a sweet smile and a wink.

“Come on,” Ren said, laughing, reaching for Rey’s elbow. “We better feed you so Miss Connix doesn’t end up dead.”

Rey looked over her shoulder at Kayleah, mouthing the words I am going to kill you.

Kayleah smirked and mouthed back What? He digs you. You’re welcome.

Rey rolled her eyes and walked out with Ren into the bright sunshine.


	9. Context, or Make This Go On Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Up & Under is an actual bar in Kalamazoo, MI. It's owned by a guy from New Zealand, and rugby was always on the TV. And the fries were amazing

Ren watched out of the corner of his eye as Rey ate her toast absentmindedly. Her expression was serious, no doubt pondering the implications of what she’d found in the Lab. She’d taken him to a place called Maz’s close by. The tiny old proprietor had waited on them herself, eyeing Ren suspiciously until he’d proved himself a polite guest and companion to Rey. Ren had ordered a sandwich-soup combination, finding bother hearty and filling. Rey had ordered some breakfast, toast and jam with a bit of scrambled egg Maz had coerced her into eating. 

“A girl does not live on toast, Rey,” Maz had admonished.

“Do you always eat like a bird?” Ren asked.

“Birds actually eat a lot,” Rey replied.

“Okay. Do you always eat like, umm, something that doesn’t eat much?”

Rey made a face at him. “Only when I’m distracted,” she said as she brushed toast crumbs off her pale green scoop neck sweater. Ren reached over and wiped the corner of her mouth with his thumb.

“Jam,” he said matter of factly when she looked at him, confused. “What’s on your mind?”

Rey shook her head. “Just thinking about the charter.” She paused, thinking on her next words carefully. “Did you know King Raholf was murdered by a group of his nobles in 996? His knights that were sworn to protect him?”

Ren shrugged. “I’d heard that in history classes in school.”

“Until their dying breaths, they swore up and down that they had been under orders to do so. That someone commanded them to kill their king.”

“Really? I hadn’t heard that part.”

Rey nodded. “That often gets left out of the textbooks, as there’s no real proof. I mean, we have accounts of their deaths, and their dying words proclaiming they’d been commanded, but no evidence that such a command was issued, or even who might have given it.”

Ren could see the gears turning in her mind, trying to make sense of her discovery. Her hazel eyes were clouded, and she was chewing on her lip.

“What does that have to do with the charter?” 

“What if…” she started, then stopped. “What if King Raholf was going to rescind the order of nobility for House Plagueis in 996. Maybe for something Lord Hego Plagueis did or was going to do. Accounts paint him as a wealthy but cruel man. There’s evidence that he hated the king’s policies, especially toward the common folk.”

“Rey...are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“What if he commanded those knights to kill the king?”

“Then why bother with a forgery? Why not just destroy the document?”

“Maybe a document was destroyed. The original nobility charter from 984. King Raholf may have destroyed it before he died, having scribed the order rescinding it. Plagueis could have taken the new charter and locked it away. A later descendent might have then found it and edited the text.”

“Why even keep it then? And what about the seal? Why would they have to mess with that?”

Rey thought a moment. “I’m not sure. Both charters would have looked very similar to each other. Barely anyone could read or write back then, so even if someone looked closely, they might not have realized what they were looking at. And, King Raholf had two seals. One at the beginning of his reign that depicted a canine rampant. Those were destroyed when he created a new seal near the end of his reign in 991. That one depicted a wolf rampant. It was bigger and more fearsome.”

Ren looked at her skeptically. “I’m not sure, Rey,” he said. He reached out his hand, hesitating before placing it over Rey’s much smaller one. “I think it’s a good story though.”

Rey sighed. “I guess you’re right. Right or wrong though, I’m fairly certain someone messed with that document.”

Ren gave her hand a squeeze before letting go. “You’ll figure it out, of that I have no doubt.”

Rey smiled at him. Ren felt his insides turn warm. He loved when she smiled at him. She wants to be friends. Don’t get greedy.

They finished their lunch soon after, chatting lightly about things like the coming semester, Rey’s class, and Ren’s research assistants. As they were heading out, Ren felt a tug at his sleeve. He looked down into Maz’s keen grey eyes. 

“There was no jam,” Maz whispered, winking at him before disappearing into the kitchen.

***  
They passed the remaining days before the beginning of the semester that way. Ren would sometimes stop by the Lab to make sure Rey ate, and Rey would make an effort to be in the Chemistry Building to make sure Ren wasn’t too mean to his research assistants. She secretly loved the annoyed look Hux would get on his face when he saw them together. She knew Hux didn’t think she was worth Ren’s time. 

The charter had been taken back to Special Collections so Doctor Skywalker could examine it. So far, Rey hadn’t heard anything, and her boss wasn’t back from vacation yet. She’d resigned herself to working on other parts of the collection and waiting. 

Friday afternoon, Ren shuffled into the lab, hands in his pockets. Connix gave him a cheery “Hello!” and made her way to the staff lounge for lunch. Rey smiled up at him. Even in the high legged chair, she still had to look up at him. She looked so adorable, he thought. Her hair was loose, and she was dressed in one of her many baggy scoop neck sweaters, this one a warm purple color, thrown over a simple black a-line dress. One of her flats was dangling off her foot as she swung it.

“Hey! I meant to text you, I’m having lunch with Connix today,” she said, still smiling. They’d exchanged numbers after their first lunch at Maz’s, and they had an unspoken agreement to only text about lunch plans.

“Hey, no worries” he replied. “I actually came to ask if you wanted to get dinner tonight.”

Rey looked wary, tensing up.

“Friends can get dinner, Rey,” Ren said with a laugh. 

Rey relaxed a little, though she was still eyeing him warily. “I guess they can. Where were you thinking?”

“My RA’s keep telling me about this place called Up and Under. They say the food’s good and it’s not ‘professory.’ Whatever that means.”

Rey had heard of it. It was kind of a dive, but a really good dive with famously good French fries. “Alright. 8:00 okay?”

“Yeah. I’ll meet you there.”

Ren left the lab, his step considerably lighter than when he’d walked in.

***

He looked like a god waiting for her, dressed simply in dark jeans and a black t-shirt. His hair was its usual touchable mess, and Rey tried to tell herself that that was not the cause of her thrumming heart beat. She really ought to get that checked out, since it seemed to be happening a lot. She was still wearing what she had been earlier. She figured that was fine for a dive bar and this not-a-date. 

His smile when he saw her get out of the cab sent a shot of feeling straight to a place south of her navel, sensitive nerves tingling. She hoped her blush wasn’t visible in the darkening evening. She managed a small smile as she approached him. They walked in to the Up and Under, classic rock music playing and hockey and rugby muted on the TVs. They opted for seats at the bar, the bartender handing them menus and water glasses. They had several microbrews on tap, and Rey opted for a rye ale fermented with different berries. It was a beautiful deep pinkish color and quite good. Rey made a mental note of the name so she could get it later. Ren got a strong double IPA.

“That’s one of Finn’s favorites,” Rey noted when the bartender placed it in front of him. “He says it’ll knock you on your ass though if you have too many.”

Ren took a sip and winced, the bite of the piney hops and alcohol was strong. “I agree with that assessment.”

They sat in companionable silence for a while, munching on fries and watching hockey on the TV. Over dinner, Rey asked Ren about his time at school, and Ren ended talking about his parents. How they’d met when his father had been in charge of this rescue operation. His mother and a few other politicians had been held hostage in an embassy, and his father, a pilot with the air force, had been in charge of flying into the territory covertly and getting the hostages out. They’d fallen madly in love and had him out of wedlock, but had broken up a few years later, realizing they had little in common. Ren could be reasonable about it now, but he’d really hated his parents as a young teenager. His Uncle Luke was the one who tuned him in to academia, although he’d been disappointed when Ren chose to go into Chemistry and not History like he had. They had fought about it and hadn’t spoken much since.

Ren wanted to ask Rey about her background, he really wanted to know how she had all the schooling she did, but before he could ask, a laughing body bumped into Ren’s back. Ren didn’t budge an inch, but the inebriated figure nearly lost his balance.

“Hey, sorry bro...Doctor Solo!” the guy exclaimed, throwing his arms out. “You came!”

Rey shot an amused look at Ren. “Friend of yours?”

“Dude! You’re here with a date?” His unfocused gaze turned to Rey.

“No Wex, she’s a friend.” Turning to Rey he said, “This idiot is one of my RAs.”

Rey smiled at Wex. “Hi. I’m Doctor Jinn.”

“Hey, you’re the lady that Hux grumbles about!”

“Wex,” Ren said in a warning tone.

“Yes, I am,” Rey said, not without a touch of pride.

“Cool! Hey! You guys should go over there. A bunch of us are playing air hockey and we need more players.”

Looking over to where Wex was pointing, Ren saw just about his entire staff. “Wex, I don’t think it’s wise for me to play air hockey with my drunk RAs.”

“Then maybe you should be drunk too. I bet you’re fun drunk,” Wex said, trying to level a serious gaze at Ren. 

Rey let out a small laugh behind her hand, imagining a drunk Ren trying to play air hockey. Ren raised an eyebrow at her. 

“What? I didn’t say anything,” Rey said innocently. 

“Come on! Lighten up a little!” Wex insisted.

“Fine, Wex.” Turning to Rey, Ren said, “You too. Let’s go.”

“No I think I’d rather watch this happen.”

“Nope.” Ren grabbed her wrist. “You have to come too.”

Rey made a play at resisting, laughing as he pulled her to her feet. 

“Awesome!!! I’m getting shots,” Wex said as Ren and Rey made their way to the others.

“No shots!” Ren called over his shoulder, but Wex ignored him.

***

It was late when they both stumbled out of the bar with Wex and the rest of Ren’s team.

“You totally cheated, Prof!” one of his students, Mitaka, managed to slur.

“No way,” Ren retorted. He was drunk, but probably not as drunk as his RAs. Mitaka bent over and threw up in the gutter. Another, Paige, grabbed his shirt before a cab ran him over.

Rey was under his arm, leaning into him for support. “He’s right you know. You tooootally cheated.”

Ren looked down into her glassy eyes. “Did not.”

Rey simply laughed, smiling at him. She was probably drunker than he was. 

“Come on. Let’s get you home.”

He pulled open the door of one of the cabs lined up outside, carefully settling Rey inside before going to the other side.

“Night, Prof!” Wex called out. “I was right! You are fun when you’re drunk.”

Ren slid into the seat next to Rey. Before he knew it, she was curled up against his side, her feet resting on the seat next to her. Ren put his arm around her.

“Where to, lovebirds?” the cabbie asked.

Rey gave her address, and the cab sped off. She was snoring lightly by the time the cab pulled up in front of her brownstone. 

Ren gave Rey a shake. “Hey, we’re here. You have to get up.”

Rey wrapped her arms around him and mumbled something into his chest. 

“Rey!”

She refused to move or let go.

“You coming or going?” the cabbie asked.

“Going. Hang on.” Ren reached into his pocket and handed the cabbie some cash. Opening the door, he managed to get out of the cab without Rey falling over. Reaching in, he wrapped an arm around her back and one under her knees, pulling her out. Her head lolled on his shoulder as he made his way up the stairs.

“Shit. Rey, I need a key.”

“Hurrumph.”

As Ren stood there, trying to figure out how the hell he was going to get Rey into the brownstone, the door opened. Ren stared down at a small Vietnamese woman, she staring up at him. 

“Umm, hi. I’m Ren Solo. I assume you’re Rey’s landlady, Mrs. Lao?” He was trying his best to sound sober.

The woman nodded. She cleared her throat, shaking herself awake. “Yes, I am Mrs. Lao.”

“Do you think you could help me? Rey had a bit too much to drink, and I need to get her into her apartment.”

“Of course!” She was more alert now. “Poor Miss Kitty Kat.” Mrs. Lao stood back and let Ren into the building. She made her way up the stairs, Ren slowly following. How the hell did she get the nickname Kitty? She unlocked the door and pushed it open to let Ren in.

As Ren walked in, Mrs. Lao stopped him, poking him in the arm. “No funny business, you!”

“Yes, Ma’am,” Ren replied. Mrs. Lao squinted up at him, nodded, then left. Ren kicked the door shut, leaning down to turn the lock, which was very hard to do with Rey in his arms. He carried Rey toward the hallway, figuring that’s where her room was. After looking in just about every door, he finally found it at the end of the hall. 

Rey was messy. There were clothes, books, and papers strewn about the room. Her closet was open, dirty clothes thrown near but not quite in the laundry basket. Her bed was a mess of blankets, sheets, and pillows. Ren set her on the bed propped against some pillows and switched on the lamp on her nightstand. He went into her kitchen, filling a couple glasses with water. He downed one, filled it again, and brought both back to her room. He set the glasses down on her nightstand and reached to turn off the light when he saw the clothes that she’d been wearing next to the nightstand. She was half curled on her side under the sheets, stripped down to her underclothes. Ren noticed she was wearing the same bra and underwear she’d worn the night they’d slept together. He shook his head. Don’t think about that.

He pulled the sheets over her shoulder and turned off the light. He turned to leave when he felt her grab his wrist. 

“Stay with me. Can’t sleep. You keep me up,” Rey mumbled.

“Then why would you want me to stay?” he asked, laughing. 

“Not you you. You in my head. If you’re here, you can’t be in my head too.”

Ren froze. If he was understanding her correctly, admittedly he was drunk, she dreamt about him. His heart soared. He tamped the feeling down.

“Alright. If you want me to, Rey.”

She tugged his wrist in response. He stumbled around to the opposite side of the bed, kicking his shoes and socks off, and crawled in next to her. He left his jeans and t-shirt on. He didn’t think she’d take too kindly to waking up with him only in his boxers next to her. He laid on his back and let her curl next to him. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, his other resting on his chest. Rey’s small hand came up and rested over his. He wanted to lay like this with her forever.

She was murmuring something.

“Hmm?” Ren asked, slowly falling asleep.

“Don’t leave me,” Rey whimpered, clutching his hand. “Don’t want to be alone.”

Ren held her tighter. “You’re not alone.”


	10. Changes, or the Secret's in the Telling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "The Secret's in the Telling" by Dashboard Confessional was the song that inspired me to write this fic in the first place :) Give it a listen

Ren awoke slowly, his eyes struggling to adjust to the dim light. He blinked a few times, trying to get the sleep out of his eyes. Rey stirred beside him. He looked over and saw she was still asleep. Her hands had made their way under his shirt, one over his heart, the other pressed to his side. Her leg was thrown over both of his. One of his large hands was resting over her thigh, the other on her shoulder. Her face was sleep flushed, her lashes dark crescents over her cheeks. As he watched her, he absentmindedly began tracing gentle arabesques on her thigh. Rey shifted, her leg hitching higher, and Ren realized that he was already half hard under his jeans. Fuck. He closed his eyes again, trying to focus on his breathing.

Rey’s eyes fluttered open. “Ren?” she asked quietly.

“Yeah?” he replied, his voice lower than usual. He hoped she wouldn’t notice.

She shifted, her leg coming to rest beside his, his hand moving to her hip.

Ren quickly removed it. “I’m sorry,” he said. “You asked me to stay.”

“I know,” Rey whispered. “I remember.”

Ren’s eyes shot open, looking at her. Her hand began to caress the taught muscles of his stomach beneath his shirt. Her hazel eyes were bright, intent, as her hand moved lower and began to stroke him over his jeans. He could feel his cock twitching, responding to her. His breathing started becoming erratic.

Ren jumped out of the bed. “Rey, what are you doing?” He raked his hands through his hair, agitated and aroused.

Not breaking her eye contact with him, Rey rose to her knees, coming to the edge of the bed. She was almost eye level with him. Ren looked at her almost pleadingly. She hooked her fingers into the waistband of his jeans, pulling him closer.

She swallowed, nervous. “I think you were right, Ren.”

“About what?” His breath hissed as her fingers brushed his erection.

Rey leaned forward so her lips brushed his, fingers working diligently on unbuttoning his jeans. “I think we need a different arrangement.”

Ren groaned as she finally succeeded in getting his jeans undone. She began stroking his stiff length through the thin cotton of his shorts. Ren grabbed her wrists, pushing her away slightly. “Rey,” he said, his voice husky and croaking, “I need you to be clear with me. What do you want?”

Rey turned her wrists in his hands so she was holding his too. She could feel the hum of his pulse beneath her fingers. It was coming fast. She knew hers was too. His gaze was focused. His pupils were dilated, his expression dangerous. He was a man pushed to his limit.

Her voice quiet but steady, she finally admitted to him what she’d denied to herself the past several weeks. “You’re all I dream about, Ren. I wake up twisted and tangled,” she paused, Just be honest. He deserves that, “...wet.” She blushed, biting her lower lip.

His gaze turned almost predatory, his breathing shortened. “Say it, Rey,” he growled.

“I want you, Ren. Everyday. I’ve never been good at this kind of thing, but I know that I don’t want to be without you.”

A primal sound escaped Ren’s throat as he pushed her down onto the bed, releasing his hold on her wrists. He wrapped his arms tightly around her, crushing his lips to hers. Her slim arms encircled him, holding him tightly to her as she returned his kiss, her tongue brushing his lower lip. He opened for her, his tongue seeking hers as they explored each others mouths. 

It felt so good to kiss her again. She was so soft. He unwrapped his arms from around her, letting them roam over her body. Hers did the same, her fingers light as they skimmed skin and muscle. Coming to the hem of his t-shirt, she began to pull it up. Breaking their kiss and sitting back slightly, he finished the job for her, throwing it to the side. He looked down at her. Her eyes were beautiful, bright. She was panting, her chest rising and falling rapidly. 

Gingerly, Ren held her rib cage between his hands and bent forward, planting kisses along her collarbone and in the valley between her breasts. He stroked and kneaded her breast through her bra, causing Rey to squirm beneath him. 

Rey arched her back, her arms and hands bending back to undo the bra clasp. Settling back down, she tossed it aside. Ren continued to stare down at her; she was so beautiful, he thought. She brought one of his hands to her face, nuzzling into his palm, kissing it gently. He bent forward again, capturing her mouth in another soft kiss as his hand lightly caressed her breast. Ren’s pressure grew firmer as he felt her nipple harden under his touch. 

Rey broke the kiss, her hand coming up to his scalp. She gave his hair a gentle tug down. His laugh got caught in his throat as he obliged her. Slowly, he took the pink bud into his mouth, tongue flicking and licking. Rey’s sighs grew more vocal as he teased her. His hand skimmed down her midriff to the apex of her thighs, brushing his fingers lightly across her opening. He smiled, giving her nipple a light nip as he felt how wet she already was. Rey yelped.

Releasing her from his mouth, Ren murmured against her tender skin, “Sorry.”

“D-Don’t be,” Rey breathed. “Felt good.”

“Rey,” Ren began, struggling with words. Rey was running her fingers through his hair. “God, you’re beautiful. Rey, I want to taste you.”

“W-what?” 

“Have you ever been kissed here?” Ren asked, stroking her through her soaked underwear.

Rey’s breath caught in her chest as he stroked her. “N-no.” 

“Will you let me? Please?” Ren asked softly.

In response, Rey let him go and tried to bend her knees. Ren rolled off her and onto his side allowing her the room she needed to pull her underwear off. He watched her, propped on his elbow. She hugged her knees, looking at him, her color high. He reached out and stroked her burning cheek.

“Lie back,” Ren said gently.

Rey did as he asked, lying back against her pillows, hands at her sides. Her knees were still bent. She had no idea what to do.

“Rey, relax for me. Can you do that?” Ren asked, moving over her, pushing her knees apart.

Rey nodded, and she leaned forward and kissed him again.

He kissed her back, soothing her with his hands until he felt her legs relax. His lips left hers, and he started kissing her neck, that place between her neck and shoulder that made her sigh and squirm. He caressed her thigh and up her side until he felt her relax fully against the mattress. He began to stroke her with one finger as he took her other breast into his mouth, licking and nipping the tightening bud. 

Rey began to moan his name as he worked her clit with his fingers, stroking and rubbing until she was crying for him. Releasing her breast from his mouth, he kissed his way down her stomach. Removing his fingers, he held both her wrists to the bed and took his first taste of her.

He revelled in her cries as he licked and savored her. She tasted of feminine salt and musk, better than he’d ever dreamt. Her wrists strained against his hands, and he held on tighter, his tongue turning savage.

“Oh God, Ren!” Rey screamed, her body trying to twist and arch. 

Ren released one of her hands, thrusting his fingers into her. She grabbed his hair, fingers pulling his hair tightly. His fingers found the sensitive nerves of her clit, and he stroked it as he continued to lick.

“I’m going to make you come like this, Rey,” he said against her flesh.

“Ren, fuck! Yes!” 

He thrust his fingers faster, feeling her muscles beginning to tighten, flicking his tongue over her with each twitch and throb. Rey screamed and arched again as he felt her clamp around his fingers, her muscles trying to pull him further into her. Ren rode it out with her, licking and thrusting with each of her throbs until her body relaxed. He gave her one last lick as he withdrew his fingers, wiping both on the sheet.

Rey’s chest was heaving, her eyes closed. Ren moved to her side, brushing a lock of hair away from her face. He kissed her lips gently as she opened her eyes. He caught a glimpse of something mischievous in her eyes before he found himself on his back, Rey straddling his hips.

She leaned down to whisper in his ear, “My turn,” before she tugged off his pants and shorts. 

“Rey, you don’t have to,” Ren said, half sitting up.

Rey shrugged. “No condoms,” she said.

Ren quirked his eyebrow. “So? We don’t have to do this if you don’t want.”

“Oh my god, shut up and let me suck you off.” Rey grinned wolfishly when she saw Ren’s expression.

Rey didn’t have much experience giving blow jobs, but she figured she could go on instinct and how he responded. It was a good bet. She held his hard length in her hand, pumping him as she kissed and licked his tip, much as he’d done to her. She could feel him struggling to remain still, his hands grabbing handfuls on the sheets. He breathing was strained, coming in hisses between his teeth. 

“Goddamn, Rey,” he managed to get out.

Rey took that as a cue, and she took him into her mouth as far as she could. He was bigger than she remembered, at least this way. She bobbed up and down, running her tongue along his length as she did so. His hands found themselves twisted in her hair as he called out her name, trying not to move her or hold her in one place. She cradled and stroked his balls with one hand, squeezing lightly.

“Jesus fuck, Rey! Don’t stop!” he cried, panting. 

Rey sped up, sensing he was close. She moved to hold his tip in her mouth, sucking and licking it, stroking his cock as it twitched, holding it if it jerked too much.

Ren cried out her name as he came. She pulled him from her mouth when his throbs subsided with a slight popping noise. Looking into his sated eyes, Rey swallowed. It was unpleasant, but she didn’t really mind. Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, she sat back and stared at Ren.

Ren stared back at her, his breathing slowly returning to normal. “Come here,” he finally said.

Rey crawled out from between his legs and flopped next to him, resting her head on his chest. Ren wrapped her in his arms, burying his nose into her hair. She slipped her arms between them, pressing close. They lay like that for Rey had no idea how long. Minutes or hours. Eventually, the sweat on her body began to cool, and she shivered.

Pushing herself up, she looked down at Ren. “I need a shower,” she said matter of factly.

Ren laughed, smiling. “Okay.”

“And so do you. Let’s go,” she commanded, trying to pull him across the bed with her.

Ren’s laughed deepened. “Okay okay, quit pulling,” he said as he followed her into her bathroom.


	11. Conversations, or We Could Be Happy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can stop reading here, if you so choose. I'll have more updates, but they'll be sporadic, as I recently gave birth (or rather, had my daughter cut out of me).

Rey knew he’d see the scars. How could he not as he was the one washing her. That had been on purpose. She washed him and he washed her. She didn’t like talking about it, but it was going to come out eventually, especially if they spent as much time naked together as Rey was hoping, and she wanted it over with. He’d been honest with her about his past, his struggles with his parents and his uncle. The pressure others put on him. His panic attacks. She wanted to share her past with him too. It was a freeing feeling, she mused, wanting to share her past pain with another person. Finn was aware of a bit of it, had pieced some things together, but had never had the full story.

“Rey, what is this?” Ren asked, his voice both concerned and angry at whoever had done this to her. He ran his fingers over the silvery marks that were scattered across her back.

Rey shook her head. “Not now. After,” Rey said, turning her face up to the warm spray. Ren reached around her, pulling her close. 

“I can’t rinse off all the soap if you do that,” Rey laughed after a moment.

“I like you soapy,” Ren said, kissing her neck teasingly.

Rey elbowed him gently in the stomach. Ren let go, tickling her sides as he did so. Rey turned and laughed, trying to push him. 

Eventually, she got all the soap off, and they both got out. Rey threw him a towel, and they went about drying themselves off. Rey wrapped the towel around her and went to the small linen closet. She pawed around a shelf where she kept extra toiletries. Finding what she was hunting, she tossed it to Ren. He caught it reflexively. It was a brand new toothbrush.

“I keep the ones they give me at the dentist,” Rey said.

“Practical,” Ren said, tearing open the package. They went about brushing their teeth, drying each others hair. Rey took Ren’s towel as he went back into the bedroom, putting on his clothes from last night. Rey walked out to find him sitting on the bed, watching her. She blushed as she made her way to her dresser, naked. 

“You’re adorable when you’re embarrassed, Rey,” Ren told her.

She threw him a chastising look over her shoulder as she pulled on clean underwear. She fastened her comfy Saturday bra and sought out her favorite baggy sweats and a fitted tank top. She chose to forego the zip up hoodie. 

Ren thought she’d never looked more beautiful. Her hair was still a mess from the shower, her sweats riding low and her tank top riding high enough to show a bit of her taut midriff.

“God, Rey,” Ren breathed.

Rey quirked an eyebrow. “What?” she asked, picking up some clothes and throwing them in the hamper.

“You’re beautiful.”

She looked away, blushing again. Ren pushed himself off the mattress, pulling her into a brief kiss.

Rey looked him in the eye. “You’re not so bad looking either,” she said, reaching up and running her fingers through his damp hair.

Ren broke into a broad grin. He’d always considered himself awkward and unappealing. But the way Rey was looking at him now, well, it made him feel like she might just be right.

Rey’s stomach decided to grumble just then, making them both laugh. 

“Come on,” Rey said. “Kitchen’s this way.”

“I know,” Ren replied. “I found it last night.”

Rey went about making a pot of coffee while Ren declared he was making eggs and toast. He was much better at cooking eggs that she was, Rey had to admit. Every time she tried to make fried eggs, they ended up scrambled. He could even crack eggs one handed, a skill Rey seriously envied.

They were sitting at Rey’s dining room table dipping their toast into perfectly runny egg yolk when there was a knock at the door followed by a clicking of the lock.

“Does your landlady always just barge in like that?” Ren asked. “Because you might want to do something about that for the future,” Ren continued, a devilish gleam in his eye.

Rey gave him a light smack on the arm as Mrs. Lao poked her head in the door. “Good morning, Mrs. Lao,” Rey said cheerfully.

“Good morning Miss Kitty Kat,” Mrs. Lao replied in her stern grandmother voice. “This young man brought you home in quite a state last night!” she said, pointing to Ren.

“I’m sorry to have woken you, Mrs. Lao,” Ren said apologetically.

Mrs. Lao waved her hands. “I just wanted to make sure he didn’t try and take advantage of you!”

“Excuse me,” Ren said, getting up to get a glass of water. Rey had turned a spectacular shade of red, and he was in danger of laughing his ass off.

“No no no, Mrs. Lao! He was a perfect gentleman.”

“Good,” Mrs. Lao replied succinctly. “You,” she declared pointing at Ren again, “You treat my Rey nice Mr. Ren Solo!”

“I have no intention of doing otherwise, Mrs. Lao,” Ren said gravely.

She nodded and shut Rey’s door.

“My mom would like her,” Ren said.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Lao is really protective. I’ve lived here since I moved almost six years ago, and she thinks of me like a granddaughter.”

“Don’t be sorry. It’s nice to know you have someone looking out for you.”

“You have no idea,” Rey replied, her eyes growing dark.

Taking the cue, Ren picked up their empty plates, rinsing them in the large farm style sink before putting them in the dishwasher. Rey had moved to the couch, stretched out across its length. Rey bent her knees so he could sit beside her, hugging them close to her chest.

“Rey, you don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to. If you’re not ready to,” Ren said gently.

Rey shook her head. “I want to tell you. It’s just hard.”

Ren nodded, remaining quiet, letting her sort herself out.

Rey decided the best way to go about it was to be straightforward, emotionless. “My parents died when I was seven. They were alcoholics, among other vices. My dad was a beater, my mom was a yeller. After they died, their dealer, Plutt, took me before Social Services found out. He made me tag along with his runners, and I was beaten bloody when I refused. I should have left then, but I couldn’t. I was frozen. It wasn’t until I woke up in the middle of the night and saw Plutt with his pants around his ankles standing next to my sleeping mat that I fought back and bolted. I kept an iron frying pan next to my mat, under some blankets. I swung at him and knocked him over so I could hit him in the head. I grabbed whatever I could and ran. I was eight.

“I made my way to another city, getting rides in the backs of trucks from nice farmers on their way to markets or wherever. One particularly nice man, a Mr. Jinn, drove me most of the way once I got out of Niima. He dropped me off at the outskirts, and I never saw him again. I borrowed his last name. I lived on the street until I was ten. Finn found me on his way home from school one day. He gave me his extra sandwich from lunch. He came back later with his father, Mitch, and mother, Marie, who brought me some dinner. They asked me to come with them, but I wouldn’t. They brought me food for a couple weeks, getting me to trust them. Winter came, but I still wouldn’t go. One day, they found me unconscious and took me to their home. I guess I was non-verbal at that point, and I reminded them of a feral cat when I woke up. Since they couldn’t get a name out of me, they called me Kitty. Finn still calls me that. And Mrs. Lao because she heard Finn call me that once and it stuck.

“I came around in time, started talking again, told them my name. I felt more comfortable around Finn’s mom, and she would take me with her when she went to teach at the university in town, since I was afraid to go to school alone. It was there that I guess they decided to have me tested by the university. Finn’s mom taught an advanced math class, and I did better than half the students on the tests and assignments. She’d given me the extras to doodle on, but I would complete them instead. She’d start getting assignments from colleagues and giving me those. 

“After about a year, a team determined I had the critical thinking and analytical skills necessary, and they brought me in under a special program. I’m sure it was just a coincidence that it was good PR for the university. I graduated when I was sixteen and went right into my master’s program there, conservation and medieval studies with some chemistry classes thrown in. I completed both at eighteen, and got my doctorate in chemistry one month shy of twenty-three. I came here when I was twenty-one to finish.”

As she finished, Rey realized tears were pouring down her face. The release had felt good, like a weight was off her back. 

“For so long, I felt like nothing, even after Mitch and Marie took me in and raised me alongside Finn. Sometimes, it creeps back, the feeling. I wish I could get rid of it, but it’s always there.”

Rey sighed and looked at Ren. He was facing her, his knees pulled up too, like they were bookends on her couch. He was watching her intently, his fingers steepled on his knees. “That was a lot to lay on you. I’m sorry,” Rey said, wiping her eyes. “I push people away. I don’t trust them. For some reason, I trust you. I don’t want to push you away, Ren.”

Ren said nothing at first. He was overcome with anger at the people who’d hurt her and admiration for her perseverance. He couldn’t think of anything to say that wouldn’t sound trite. Instead, he leaned forward, one leg on the floor, one stretching out, pulling Rey to him so she was between him and the couch cushions, her head resting on his chest. He held her gently, one hand cradling the back of her skull, the other holding her side. He whispered to her, “You’re not nothing. Not to me, not to anyone. And you couldn’t push me away now, not even if you tried. Don’t be sorry. Never be sorry.”

Rey settled into the space he made for her, resting her arm on his chest, clutching his shirt. She sighed deeply, starting to drift off as he played with her hair. Soon enough, they both fell asleep, not sure where they were going, but content that they’d started off right.

***

Rey felt something cold and wet in her hand. She twitched her fingers, and whatever it was started licking her palm. One eye cracked open, and she found herself staring into BB’s bright brown eyes. The Shiba Inu gave her his trademark silly grin, and jumped, placing his front paws on Ren’s chest in an effort to reach Rey’s face. 

Ren was startled awake, inhaling sharply. “What the hell?” he asked sleepily, looking at the dog currently trying to climb onto him to get to Rey.

“Should we come back later or…” Poe asked, amused.

Rey and Ren sat up, scrambling apart. BB was yipping excitedly. Finn, Poe, and Rose were standing in front of them, bemused expressions on their bright faces.

“Does everyone walk into your apartment, Rey?” Ren asked her.

Rubbing her eyes, Rey muttered, “Finn why did I give you a key?”

“For emergencies,” Finn smirked.

“We just wanted to check on you, Love,” Rose said. “We hadn’t heard from you in awhile.”

“I’m fine, you guys. I’ve just been…” Rey wasn’t quite sure how to finish that sentence.

“Busy?” Finn offered helpfully.

“Yeah,” Rey replied.

“So who’re you?” Poe asked, looking at Ren.

“Uhh, Ren Solo,” Ren said, standing to shake Poe’s hand. 

“No shit? You’re in the Chem department right?”

“Yeah. You’re in Engineering?”

“Yeah, man! We all are, actually. Well, except Rey here.”

“And you two are sleeping on the couch together because you’re nap buddies?” Finn asked sarcastically, cutting to the chase.

Rey glared at him. Finn just smiled broadly.

“We’re actually, umm…” Ren replied, looking at Rey. 

Rey looked at him, and smiled, reaching for his hand. “Together,” she finished. Ren smiled back.

Rose clapped her hands in front of her face, stifling a ‘squee’ sound. 

Poe nudged Finn, “Told you she had a guy.”

Finn rolled his eyes. Looking at Rey, Finn said, “Look, we actually came over to ask if you wanted to get lunch, not interrogate you and your new boyfriend. That was a bonus.”

“You’re welcome to come, Ren! I mean, Doctor Solo,” Rose added brightly.

“Ren. And yeah, I could eat,” Ren shrugged. “Thanks.”

Rey looked from Ren to her longtime friends. The only three people who had stuck with her through the years. She was overcome with a swell of feeling for them. She smiled and said, “Sure, just let me change.” As she walked to her room, BB following at her heels, she wiped away the happy tears that had formed in her eyes.

***  
Ren settled in comfortably with Rey’s friends after the interrogation he’d been expecting. They’d sat at the patio at Maz’s that day so BB could join them. Maz even brought BB a bowl of water and a plain burger cut up into pieces.

“Are you that Ren Solo? The chemistry genius and son of Leia Organa-Skywalker and Han Solo?” Yes, I’m THAT Ren Solo.

“Is it true your dad ran a covert rescue op and that’s how he met your mom?” That’s the short version, yes.

“Isn’t your uncle the Chair of the History Department?” Yes.

“You know if you break Rey’s heart or hurt her in anyway, we’ll kill you?” Understood. And I have no intention of doing so.

“Bark!” Pat pat belly rub.


	12. Confluence, or Business as Usual

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All my Museum Studies classes were at night once a week for three hours (5-8, 6-9), since they were taught by the people that ran the small university museum.

The beginning of the term passed fairly smoothly for Rey, in spite of her worry. Her students were engaged and interested in what she had to say despite the class’ late hour, and she found the practice of teaching them quite enjoyable. They watched her with rapt attention as she demonstrated various conservation techniques and different the chemical interactions they might encounter in a conservation lab.

After her first class ended at 8:00pm, she’d headed back to her office and was slightly surprised to see Ren standing there. The Chemistry offices were typically deserted at this hour.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, secretly pleased to see him. She hadn’t asked him to come by after her class, trying to seem nonchalant, but she was hoping he’d see through it and come anyway.

“I wanted to see how your class went,” Ren replied, playing along. “You’re practically glowing, so I assume it went well?”

Unable to hold back her pleasure at having nailed her first day teaching any longer, Rey leapt at Ren, his arms reacting quickly to catch her, as she squealed “Yes!”

He held her tight and gave her a little spin before setting her back down on her feet and planting a kiss on the top of her head. “I knew you’d do great.”

Rey flashed him a brilliant smile before heading into her office to collect her things. As she pulled her door shut, she asked, “How was your day?”

Ren shrugged. “Fine. Got some work done. Bossed the team around. You know, the usual.” Ren wasn’t teaching a class this term, so he was able to spend most of his time in the lab working on his catalyst with his team of RAs.

As they walked, Rey slipped her hand into his, interlacing their fingers together. Ren smiled. Pushing the ‘DOWN’ button on the elevator, Ren turned to Rey and asked, “Hungry?”

In response, Rey’s stomach let out an audible growl. Her class was on Tuesdays from 5:00pm to 8:00pm, which left her little time to eat a proper dinner. Rey nodded enthusiastically, “Very!”

After the elevator doors closed, Ren bent down and captured Rey’s mouth with a deep kiss, pulling her close. His free hand came up and cupped her warm cheek as his tongue coaxed Rey’s mouth open. He kissed her until the elevator stopped at the ground floor, releasing her only when the doors slid open.

“Maz’s?” Ren asked casually, as if he hadn’t just spent the last thirty seconds ravishing her mouth.

Rey could only nod, leaning into his side, wrapping her arm around his waist as they headed out of the building onto the dark, quiet street.

***

It was a few weeks before Rey’s boss at the Conservation Lab, Doctor Amilyn Holdo, was back from her trip. She had been granted access to the secretive archives of the old Corellian Empire in order to assess the archive’s preservation needs. It had taken her quite a distance away with limited communication for the entire summer. 

Rey had been working on a small painting from the Plagueis collection when Holdo called her in to her office. It was a spacious if sparse room. Holdo wasn’t one for unnecessary clutter. Original blueprints for the University and libraries were hung in modern glass frames on the walls, and a modern desk stood proudly off to the left. A few mid century modern chairs were around a small table in the corner. At the table, Holdo sat across from an older man, a document resting on a piece of acid free board between them. Rey recognized the man immediately - Luke Skywalker, Head of the History Department. He was distinguished looking, with trimmed grey hair and a matching neat beard. His shoulders carried a slight slump, the result of years of bending over old documents, examining them for the tiniest details. His blue eyes were still bright though. Both of them looked up when Rey walked in. 

“Rey,” Holdo greeted her warmly, holding out her arms. 

Rey came forward and grasped Holdo’s hands. After a brief lean-in, Holdo released her hands and gestured toward the document sitting on the table. Rey could see now it was the charter that she’d asked Doctor Skywalker to examine several weeks ago. The one she suspected was a forgery.

“I’ll cut right to it,” Holdo began. “Doctor Skywalker agrees with your assessment of this document.”

Taking the cue, Luke said, “Yes, partially, anyway. I believe the actual document is original, and that dating will confirm that, but someone has indeed tampered with it.”

Rey sighed with something resembling relief. 

“The seal has clear signs of having been heat manipulated, as you suspected. And, as you noted, some lettering has been changed.”

“Right,” said Holdo, taking back the conversational ball. “I am giving you permission to take samples of the ink on this document and run chemical and dating tests on them, to determine their composition and age. Having examined the document myself, I believe the lettering alterations and the seal manipulation were done at a later date, and that testing the ink will reveal this. There isn’t much we can do chemical-wise on the seal. I want extensive photographs taken of this document.”

Rey nodded, eager to get to work.

“Rey,” Holdo said, her tone and expression deadly serious, “I don’t need to tell you how sensitive this information is. You are not to discuss this outside of this lab. Doctor Skywalker has agreed to this condition as well. The head of special collections is aware that there is an issue with this document, but he isn’t aware of the specifics.”

“Understood, Doctor Holdo,” Rey replied.

“Excellent. After your testing has been completed and the results are in, we’ll decide how best to proceed.”

“Agreed, Doctor Holdo,” rey said, nodding her assent.

“Alright then. Get to it, my dear.”

Rey said goodbye to Doctor Skywalker and turned to begin collecting the supplies she’d need to take her samples. It was going to be an interesting day.

***

Taking the samples from the document had taken most of the day. Rey then spent about half an hour carefully packing the test tubes containing the ink samples into a padded travel case to take to the Chemistry Lab. As she snapped the case shut and headed out, she groaned inwardly. She’d have to ask Hux for use of the Lab’s resources for her tests. Hux wasn’t so petty as to outright refuse her, but she knew he’d be difficult about it. Rey sighed and steeled herself. All he could do was delay her by saying there was a queue, and she’d just have to wait until it was her turn; the tests would get done. Rey was by nature impatient, but she had to hand it to Hux, he’d helped her fix that, on purpose or not.

Fifteen minutes later, Rey was standing in front of Hux’s secretary. She sighed as the woman told her Hux was in a meeting. 

“You can wait though,” she said sympathetically. “He shouldn’t be too much longer.”

Rey gave her a smile, “Thanks, I’ll do that.” Rey took a seat, holding the case carefully in her lap. 

It was about five minutes before Hux’s door cracked open. Hux’s posh British voice filtered out. “Excellent, excellent. Thank you, Magister Snoke.”

Rey straightened in her seat. She’d never seen the Magister in person. The door opened wider and a aged man, tall, completely bald, imposing, sauntered out. He carried an intricately carved ebony cane, although he didn’t seem to be leaning on it for support; it appeared to be more for decoration than function. He wore a smart black suit and shirt and a gold tie. His skin was mottled, and he had a mass of scar tissue on his skull, above his right eye. He wore a massive gold ring on his right hand. It bore the Plagueis seal. 

Snoke paid Rey no mind as he passed her. Rey hadn’t realized it, but she’d been holding her breath. She exhaled quietly as she held her case tighter. She glanced at Hux’s door again and had to stifle her surprise as Ren walked out next. 

He looked grumpy as he walked out; obviously he hadn’t wanted to be in whatever that meeting was. Hux was all smiles as he clapped Ren on the back as he walked out. Ren winced, but Hux couldn’t see his face. His eyes found Rey’s and his expression brightened marginally. He nodded cordially to her. “Doctor Jinn, what a pleasure to see you.”

They’d agreed to maintain an air of professionalism around their colleagues. Some were beginning to suspect that there might be more to it than that, Ren’s RAs had a tendency to gossip, but Hux was none the wiser.

“Doctor Solo,” Rey said quietly when he passed. Ren surreptitiously ran his fingers along her arm. Rey shivered. She was going over to his place tonight, she remembered. Her stomach flipped in anticipation.

Hux was talking to his secretary when Rey stood and cleared her throat. “Doctor Hux, may I have a moment?”

Hux sighed, “Only a moment, Doctor Jinn.”

“Thank you, Sir.” She followed him into his office. As Rey passed the secretary, the woman gave her a knowing wink.

Keeping the door ajar, Hux said to Rey, “Luckily you’ve caught me in a good mood. I’m sure you saw Magister Snoke just now.” His chest puffed out proudly. Rey stifled a snicker.

“Yes,” Rey replied, schooling her features into a face of seriousness. “I’m sure you were quite honored to receive him.”

“Indeed, Doctor Jinn. He came to discuss further funding of our department’s work.”

“Is that why Doctor Solo was here as well?” Rey asked.

“More or less. As you know, Doctor Solo is a visiting researcher. His position with the University is subject to change depending on their whim. Magister Snoke wants him here and that’s what the meeting was about. Magister Snoke wants to fund a position, specifically for Doctor Solo to continue his research without worry that the University might drop him.”

Rey kept her expression neutral, but internally wondered why Ren looked so angry coming out of the meeting if it had all been about funding a position for him.

“It would be a boon to the University,” Hux continued. “I’m sure the Board of Regents will agree.”

Rey nodded in agreement, “They would certainly be foolish to disagree.”

Hux smiled at her, glad she was agreeing with him for once. “So, what can I do for you, Doctor Jinn?”

“Well, I was hoping to run some chemical tests on a few ink samples, Doctor Hux.”

Hux waved his hands, “Of course of course,” he said amiably. “There is a queue right now for that kind of thing, but you’re more than welcome to store your samples in the climate controlled secure room until it’s your turn. I think there’s only three groups ahead of you, Doctor Jinn.” He passed her a slip of paper with his approval signature to attach to her request.

Rey decided not to push her luck. “Thank you so much, Doctor Hux. I’ll be on my way.” She headed out of his office, flipping his secretary a wave as she passed. 

She took the elevator down to the main floor where the Chemistry Lab was. She punched in the code to enter the Lab’s vestibule type room, dropping most of her things off in a locker before donning the required protective equipment. She punched in another code and entered the Lab, heading toward the back where the secure room was located. Rey moved quickly past the different stations, each one in the midst of performing some task or experiment. Huddled figures, clothed in lab coats and sporting protective goggles, masks, and gloves were busy writing notes, stoppering test tubes, or typing at the computer stations along the wall. A few waved in greeting, and Rey would wave back.

Reaching the store room, Rey typed in a third code. The door hissed open, and Rey moved quickly inside before the door hissed back shut. She set her case down on the available table and began filling out the necessary paperwork for her request and place in the queue. 

Finishing that, she set her case in one of the empty glass compartments that lined the opposite wall and slipped her paperwork into the hanging slot in front of it. Punching in the code again, she made her way back out into the Lab and through the gauntlet of keypads. 

She was struggling with her bag when Ren’s voice behind her made her jump.

He laughed, “It’s just me.”

“You scared me!” Rey exclaimed.

“Obviously,” Ren replied teasingly. “What are you up to down here?”

“Dropping off some ink samples that I have to test when my turn’s up,” Rey replied.

“Oh, from the document that’s a forgery?” Ren asked.

“Shh! You’re not supposed to know that,” Rey hissed.

“Why not?” Ren whispered, leaning forward to hear her better.

“My boss doesn’t want other people to know, so pretend you weren’t there and that you know nothing,” Rey whispered urgently.

“Nothing about what?” Ren asked, all innocently, as he straightened.

“Exactly,” Rey replied, smiling up at him. “Heading in?”

“Yeah. Have to check on something the team found.”

“What was that meeting about earlier?”

Ren’s eyes darkened, a slight frown crossing his face. “I’ll tell you later.”

Rey looked up at him, worry written in her expression. “Ok,” she said gently.

Ren’s face softened. He looked around quickly before he grabbed her arm and pulled her into a quick embrace. Rey rose on her toes and kissed him briefly before he let go.

“See you tonight,” Ren said seductively as he punched in the code.

Rey blushed as she hurried away, feeling his eyes on her until she was out of sight.


	13. Nights, or Heaven Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's important to be realistic sometimes  
> It can't be all orgasms and sex gods ;)

The nights they spend together are never quite the same. Sometimes it was her place, sometimes his. Sometimes they fell asleep on the couch together, lulled to sleep by the sounds of the TV. Sometimes they talked about everything and nothing. Other times, well, they certainly weren’t sleeping. This was one of those times. They had long since gotten over the initial awkwardness that comes with a new relationship-the questioning, the uncertainty. Now they could almost communicate their needs, their wants, unspoken.

The second Rey had shut his front door and kicked off her flats, Ren had her pinned against it, his mouth demanding and his breath coming in heated bursts against her cheek. Rey matched his urgency, wrapping her slim arms around his neck and jumping up, wrapping her legs around his waist. Ren growled with pleasure as she pressed against his stiffening erection, securing her to him with one arm around the small of her back and the other under her bottom. He turned and headed toward his bedroom, not having spoken a word.

Tearing her mouth from his, Rey stripped off her shirt and threw it aside. Bracing her hands on his broad shoulders, she looked down into Ren’s eyes. They were almost feral in their ferocity. His lips were parted slightly, panting. Rey saw it then, that look he sometimes got. There would be no gentle caresses or languid kisses tonight. He was going to fuck her and hard. The thought made her dizzy. She moaned his name as she brought her mouth back to his.

Reaching his room, Ren tossed her onto the bed. Rey had braced herself, expecting him to practically leap on top of her, but Ren simply stood beside the bed, watching her, his chest heaving. Bringing herself up on her elbows, Rey looked up at him, questioning. Slowly, he began taking off his shirt, then his jeans. Rey watched him, his eyes never leaving hers. Warmth crept across her cheeks when he removed his shorts, his rigid cock springing free. He was so aroused, she thought. She had never imagined she’d inspire that much desire in another person. She reached out to touch him, but Ren caught her wrist in his strong grasp.

“Take off your clothes,” he commanded, his voice guttural. 

Rey trembled slightly as she began to unfasten her jeans. They didn’t typically undress in front of each other like this. It usually just kind of...happened. Something about undressing this way, under his penetrating eyes, made her feel vulnerable. She slid the stiff fabric down the length of her bent legs slowly, unable to meet his fiery gaze. Her fingers struggled with the hooks of her bra. The wretched thing finally came loose, and Rey tossed it aside. She could hear the change in his breathing as her breasts were exposed to the chill of the room. Her thumbs hooked into the waistband of her underwear. Rey looked up at him then, as she pulled them down over her knees, flicking them aside. 

Keeping her knees bent, she asked timidly, her voice barely a whisper, “Ren?”

Ren knelt beside her on the bed, his chest heaving with labored breathing, his expression still commanding. “Lie back.”

Rey lay back slowly, watching him. She tried to relax, tried to close her eyes, but she couldn’t. The way he was watching her, looking at her, she could feel the wetness building between her thighs.

“Do you trust me, Rey?”

Rey thought a moment, tightening her grip on his sheets. “Yes.”

Ren straddled her, reaching for her wrist. He ran his thumb over her knuckles, coaxing her fingers to let go. He brought it to his mouth, pressing a kiss to her pulse point. Rey watched wide-eyed as he raised her arm above her head, tying it to a piece of silk cloth that had been affixed to his bed post.

“If you want me to stop, tell me to stop,” Ren said as he did the same to her other wrist.

Rey’s panting became audible. “I will tell you to stop. If I want,” she acknowledged. She realized she loved that about him. He always needed something verbal from her. A nod or a shake was never enough. He needed to hear her.

Ren leaned down and bit her ear gently. “You won’t want me to,” he whispered.

He started at her neck, biting and licking his way down her front. By the time he reached her wet mound, Rey was covered in a sheen of sweat, panting his name over and over. Her knuckles were white against the dark silk she gripped like a lifeline. When he pushed her legs apart and slid his tongue torturously slow along her wet slit, the world went black.

****  
When Ren woke, it was still dark out. In the moonlight, he could make out Rey’s sleeping form beside him. She was on her stomach, arms thrust under her pillow. She looked so beautiful, so at peace, he thought. The moon’s light cast her in an ethereal glow, and he couldn’t help himself. He reached out, gently running his fingers along her back. She didn’t move.

He’d exhausted her, he knew. She’d cried like a wanton thing when he’d licked her, tasted her, bit her, and fucked her slowly. The restraints had been a good idea. She had a tendency to be impatient in bed, and Ren had wanted her to feel everything he did to her. She’d cursed and screamed his name, driving him on, begging for him to take her hard and take her fast. When he eventually obliged her, he’d given himself to her slowly, driving them both higher, until he couldn’t restrain himself anymore. He’d pulled out of her, leaving her whimpering for him. 

“Say it again, Rey,” he’d commanded, his voice hoarse. 

“Fuck me, Ren. Fuck me hard, please,” she’d begged.

He’d groaned and finally let go, thrusting into her hard and fast, like she wanted, over and over. They both were crying each others’ names when they came together. It was probably the most intense, if not painful, orgasm of Ren’s life. It had been tantamount to torture for him, savaging Rey’s body without her touching him back.

He’d managed to remain awake long enough to untie her before collapsing beside her. She’d curled into him, small hands pressed to his pounding heart, knees resting on his. He wrapped one arm around her holding her close, the other shoved under his pillow. They both fell asleep almost immediately.

As he watched her now, he felt a warmth come over him. Did he love her? He couldn’t or wouldn’t say; he’d never been good at loving other people. His parents’ relationship had not been a good example. It had been a tumultuous and passionate affair based on not much besides hormones followed by an unexpected pregnancy-him. That had led to bitterness and resentment on the part of both parties. They were amicable now, but Ren’s youth had been fraught with arguments between mother and father. For a long time, he thought that’s just how relationships worked. 

But Rey. He knew he never wanted to be without her in his life. He wanted to share himself with her, even the dark parts, give himself over to her completely. If he could physically give her his heart, he would. Shit, he supposed it was love then. He wasn’t entirely sure she felt the same way, but he wanted to find out. He needed to. She had given him her trust, had told him she didn’t want to push him away. But would he end up being the one to push her away by asking for answers she wasn’t ready to give?

All this he wondered as he watched her in the moonlight. 

As if she could sense the intensity of his stare, Rey’s eyes fluttered open. She smiled, reaching out a hand to stroke his cheek. Taking her hand, Ren pressed a kiss to her palm. Rey wriggled closer, nuzzling into his neck and shoulder. Ren held her close. 

“Rey…,” Ren whispered. He’d probably never been more terrified in his life.

“Hmm?” Rey replied sleepily.

“I…,” he swallowed thickly and held her tighter. “I love you, Rey.” Ren shut his eyes tight, like a child trying to shut out something scary.

He felt Rey go very still in his arms. For a second, he thought she’d fallen back asleep. It would figure, Ren thought. He opened his eyes when he felt her eyelashes fluttering on his collarbone. It was his turn to go very still.

A whisper like a gentle spring zephyr was the only thing that broke the stillness. “I love you too, Ren.”

Ren let out a sound somewhere between a choked sob and a sigh and buried his face in the top of Rey’s head, inhaling deeply. Rey’s fingers gently scratched the back of his neck, playing with his hair. He felt a dampness between her cheek and his collarbone, and he pulled back to look at her. Rey was smiling her sweet smile, and her eyes were shining. Ren used his thumb to wipe away the dampness from her shed tears. Rey reached out and did the same. He hadn’t realized he’d been crying too. He smiled and they both gave a slight laugh, wiping their eyes. 

Rey pulled him to her, kissing him gently. Ren’s hand cradled her neck as Rey’s arms wrapped around him, stroking his back. The kiss deepened, both feeling limbs and desire awaken. Ren felt Rey’s wet heat when he reached down and slipped his fingers between her thighs. She was always so wet for him, he thought wonderingly as he stroked her. He broke their kiss and stared down into her eyes, her beautiful eyes, no less beautiful in the dark, her mouth open as she moaned and breathed his name as he touched her. Ren groaned as Rey reached down and stroked him back, her touch gentle and slow, showing him how she wanted him in that moment. 

Each held the other’s gaze as they continued to bring each other to the edge. When he saw the silent plea in Rey’s eyes, Ren pushed her gently onto her back, leaving her for only a moment before he pushed her thighs apart and slid deep into her, filling her completely. Rey’s arms twined around his back, her legs around his waist, holding him close as he began to move his hips, slow and sweet like she’d asked. Her breath came hot and fast against his ear, his much the same against her neck. Ren felt her intimate muscles tensing, and he quickened his pace slightly, reaching down to delicately finger her sensitive nerves where they were joined. Rey’s nails dug into his back, and she cried his name softly when she came. 

To Ren’s chagrin, his body wasn’t cooperating. It hadn’t been long enough, and the coming sensations were painful. 

“Rey, I’m sorry, I can’t…” he breathed into her shoulder. “Too soon.”

Rey’s hands made soothing motions on his back. “Then don’t,” she whispered back. “It’s alright.”

She held him tightly, stroking his hair and back, as he settled on top of her, staying inside until he softened, pushing slightly when his muscles demanded it. Eventually, he slid out of her with a hiss. Even taking off the rubber was painful, but he managed. 

Ren rolled onto his side, facing away from Rey. He pulled her arm over so she was holding him and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. She brought her knees under his rear, and he could feel her breasts on his back as she pressed close. He sighed and closed his eyes when she kissed his shoulder. 

“I love you, Rey,” he murmured as he drifted off.

“I love you, too.”


	14. Politics, or Build and Empire, then We'll Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A wild update with plot advancement appears! It's a short one, but I need to ease myself back into this world :)

“So what was that meeting about yesterday?” Rey asked Ren around a mouthful of pancake in the morning. He was so good at making breakfast.

They were sitting beside each other at Ren’s small dining table in his kitchen eating. Sunlight poured into the room from the window above the sink, casting a warm glow around the room even if winter’s encroaching chill clung to the glass. Rey’s hair was a loose mess, and she wore one of Ren’s t-shirts. Ren’s hair was sticking up at odd angles, and he wore only sweats. 

Ren frowned and sighed. Rey set her fork down and leaned toward Ren, placing her hand over his. “What’s wrong? Tell me,” she implored.

“Snoke wants to give the University a large donation, provided that it’s earmarked for creating a permanent position for me,” Ren grumbled.

Rey squeezed his hand. “That’s good though!” At his expression, she added softly, “Isn’t it?”

Ren snorted. “You know how these things work, Rey. I’m not tenured. I’d be beholden to him. To Snoke. I don’t think I can bear that.”

Rey sighed. That was often how it worked. That’s why Special Collections was having them work on Snoke’s donation instead of some of their other materials that arguably needed more attention. Snoke expected their next exhibit to be on his material. It had been a condition of the donation. He might try to slip in some language to his monetary contribution that gave him indirect control over what Ren worked on, what he did with his findings. She rubbed her thumb across his knuckles, trying to reassure him.

“Maybe the Board of Regents will remind Snoke that while his money is appreciated, the University’s employees can’t be bought by politicians. He’ll either agree or withdraw the donation.” As Rey said the words, she knew she didn’t sound very convincing. She didn’t really have an answer for him, at least one that would make him feel better.

Rey’s breathing faltered as a thought occurred to her. “Will you leave? Go back to Coruscant?” she asked quietly, her long held fear bubbling up.

Ren placed his other hand on top of hers, bringing it to his cheek. “Never,” he whispered, brushing his lips against her knuckles. 

Rey sighed and leaned forward. Ren matched her motion, until they were resting against each other, forehead to forehead, breath mingling in the middle.

***  
The next day, Rey was deep in thought at her desk when Kayleah approached. There was a palpable fear in her eyes.

“What’s wrong, Kayleah?” Rey asked, concerned.

Kayleah leaned forward, gripping Rey’s shoulder. “Snoke’s here,” she hissed.

“Get Holdo. Now,” Rey whispered urgently. There was no reason to think Snoke suspected anything, but Rey felt uneasy all the same. Maybe it was because of what Ren had told her earlier. He was a man that thought money could buy anything, and what money couldn’t fear of what he might do could. 

As Rey saw Snoke round the corner, she thought, _Nope, it’s because he’s creepy._ He moved with an oily grace, his head held at a haughty angle as he surveyed his surroundings and her with barely veiled contempt. Rey held her chin up defiantly, daring him to insult her.

“So, you’re the one holding up the exhibit,” Snoke said, his voice dripping with disdain.

“Good afternoon, Magister Snoke,” Rey said cooly, looking him square in the eye. She had a lot of practice dealing with people who thought she was beneath them. “Is there a problem?”

“That depends, my dear. Is there a particular reason you are holding up my exhibit?” Snoke asked, his voice dangerously soft and vaguely threatening. Rey felt her defiance waver a bit.

“Of course not, Sir. A few pieces simply required a bit more work before they are put out on display,” she replied in what she hoped was a strong voice. Technically, it wasn’t a lie.

“Is that so?” he replied. Rey swallowed. He sounded like he didn’t believe her. It was then she realized the magnitude of what she was doing. If it came out that Snoke’s legitimacy was in question, the fear his family had spent past centuries cultivating that translated into influence today could disappear in an instant. And if his ancestor had ordered the assassination of a beloved monarch, well, one only had to look at England to see how long nobility held grudges. To this day, no one named their kid John for a reason. 

Luckily, Holdo appeared just then. “If you have a problem with the way my lab does things, Magister, take it up with me,” she all but snarled.

“Oh no problem, Doctor Holdo. I just wanted to check on your progress with my materials.”

“Special Collections will update you as to the status of your exhibit. As Doctor Jinn stated, some pieces require a bit more work before they are put on display. Now if you please, this lab is not open to the public.” Holdo gestured towards the door.

Snoke gave her the meanest of smiles, as if he resented being lumped in with “the public,” but he said nothing. He gave a curt nod of his head, a nasty grin twisting his mouth, and he made his way out of the lab.

Rey shivered after he left. She had a bad feeling about this. She needed to get to the chemistry lab and run her tests, queue be damned. She could go tonight when the lab was empty, she mused. Ren had told her he’d be busy most of the night helping his mom with some task or another, and it’s not like they spent every night together anyway, Rey reasoned. Besides, they had keys to each others’ places. If he wanted to see her, he’d let himself in.


	15. Dark, or So Long and Goodnight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Throws into middle of room and runs and hides behind couch
> 
> Also, I took a trip to CSI land and pretended that chemical test take only hours instead of days or weeks because ain't nobody here to read about waiting for chemical tests.

The Chem Lab had been mercifully empty when she punched in around 11:00PM. In fact, the only other soul she’d seen in the building was a member of the custodial staff. Rey didn’t recognize him, she felt like she’d remember the janitor with a missing ear, but the guy had been in a jumpsuit and was crawling into an air duct near the lab. She could hear him clambering about in the ductwork, going about his business while she went about hers. Her tests went smoothly, and she made sure to save everything on her personal flashdrive as well as the University servers, just in case. The janitor was gone by the time she was done.

It was almost 2:00AM by the time Rey got back to her brownstone. She didn’t see Ben’s car parked on the road, so she guessed he decided to spend the night on his own. They did that sometimes. It was just as well; Rey had a lot on her mind. She set her flashdrive with her chemical test results on her kitchen table and sat, staring at it, as if willing it to speak. 

Rey already knew what it would tell her. Snoke was a fraud, at least, his lineage was, and in all likelihood, he was the one that had manipulated the document. While some of the ink samples did indeed date to the tenth century, the ones from the area in question definitely did not. They were modern, and chemical analysis confirmed that the ink composition was not one that would have been found in the tenth century. In fact, the ink contained a compound that had only been developed in the last few years. Snoke had to have been the one that made the change.

Pushing away from the table and heading to her bathroom, Rey had to ponder Snoke’s thought process. Why had he bothered to alter the document in the first place, much less donate it to the University? Was he really that proud, so sure in his position that it hadn’t even occurred to him that someone would find something off about the charter? Or if someone did, they’d overlook it, out of deference or fear of him?

 _Maybe Snoke was just insane_ , Rey thought as she turned on the taps and tugged the shower pull. _Absolute power corrupts absolutely._ Shedding her clothes, she stepped into the hot spray. Rey hoped the water would help wash away her worry, but it wasn’t working. She rubbed her face, pulling her hands down her cheeks. Rey wrapped her arms around her middle, wishing Ren was there. Despite the hot water, she was cold. She was scared.

As if on cue, she heard the _rat-a-tat-tat_ on the bathroom door that meant Ren was there. It was a signal they used if either of them entered the other’s home and they were occupied, so they didn’t freak out. Rey relaxed and started washing.

“Mmm, why bother getting clean when I’m just going to get you all dirty?” Ren purred as he stepped into the shower behind her, settling his large hands on Rey’s hips and pulling her back to him. 

Rey sighed with a smile and leaned back into him, feeling his hardness press against her. One of his hands drifted up to stroke her breast as the other drifted lower, stroking her mound gently. Rey’s lips parted and she let out a soft moan as she felt Ren’s warm mouth at the sensitive juncture of her neck and shoulder.

“I missed you today,” he murmured against her skin, the fingers of one hand pinching and kneading the delicate skin of her nipple and the fingers of the other parting her flesh already slick with her want. Ren’s fingers teased her entrance while his thumb made circles around her clit. Rey’s moans grew into desperate cries as one of her hands grabbed at his hair, holding him to her shoulder while her other clutched at the hand on her breast.

Rey felt her knees weaken when he slipped one finger inside her then another, and they just about gave out when he started stroking her, feeling for that one spot that drove her to climax. He knew her body so well, she marvelled. She came quickly; apparently she missed him, too.

Ren held her close as she came, carefully working her body back down. Her bathtub was the antique clawfoot style, not conducive to shower sex. They didn’t make a habit of keeping condoms in the bathroom anyway. So, he patiently helped her finish washing, and then let her wash him. Rey paid extra attention to his throbbing cock, giving him a few languid strokes, teasing him until he growled at her to get out of the damn tub.

After they were dried off, Ren practically lunged at her, scooping her up quickly, carrying her into the adjoining bedroom, and throwing her on the bed. He opened the drawer in the bedside table, reached for the box he kept there, and reached in, finding it empty.

“Fuck!” he swore.

“What?” Rey asked, leaning up on one elbow.

“Damn box is empty. I forgot to bring more,” Ren growled, pulling at his hair. “God-fucking-dammit.”

“Ren…” Rey started. She bit her lip. 

Ren looked at her. He couldn’t look at her. He turned and sat on the edge of the bed, hands braced on his knees. God, he was such an idiot. And he couldn’t ask her to let him… That was almost too intimate.

“Come inside me, Ren. Please,” she said quietly.

He turned his head, looking at her over his shoulder, a desperate look on his face. “Rey, that’s not...we don’t have to...Goddammit.” He held his head in his hand. 

Rey got off the bed and stood in front of him, placing her hand under his chin. Urging him to look at her, she said firmly, “I want you to. I trust you, Ren. Besides, we’re both clean and I’m on birth control. You know that.”

Ren wrapped his arms around her middle, pulling her between his legs. He looked up at her like the goddess she was as she stroked the side of his face. Rey straddled him carefully as his hands firmly grasped her ass, holding her secure. Bracing her hands on his broad shoulders, Rey carefully raised herself and brought herself back down, grinding on his cock as she did so. She gasped at the pleasure of rubbing herself on him and sped up her pace. 

“Oh God, Rey, you’re so wet. You feel so good. Sweetheart, please,” Ren begged. 

Rey blushed lightly at the endearment, and it wasn’t often she got him to beg. “Please what?” she whispered in his ear.

“Please let me come inside you,” Ren cried as is fingers dug in to the skin of her backside.

In response, Rey raised herself up a little higher and slowly lowered herself onto him. They both cried out at the sensation. He felt so good inside her like this. She dropped her head to his shoulder as she felt her inner muscles adjust around him. She felt Ren’s hands running up her back, pressing her closer. She arched her back, which repositioned him inside her so he was hitting her g-spot. Rey cried out and began grinding her hips. Ren took one of her nipples in his mouth and began to nip and lick as she rode him.

“Shit, baby you feel so good,” Ren moaned against her heated skin.

“You...too…” Rey cried out between thrusts. She was getting so close. Her nails dug into his shoulders as she rode him faster, feeling her muscles begin to tense.

“Come for me, Rey. I need to feel you come around my cock.”

Rey whimpered when her orgasm hit her, and she felt herself clamp down around him. The sensation of her muscles working to take him deeper brought Ren to his own climax soon after. Letting out a low groan, he felt himself release inside her, his fluid coating her inner walls. Rey fell limp against him, and he held her closer. 

Ren could feel their combined fluids flowing out of her and onto him, and he carefully lifted her off of him. He grabbed some tissues from the box beside the bed and gently cleaned her up before he cleaned himself. Rey was breathing heavily on his shoulder, and with some difficulty, he managed to get her under the covers before crawling in next to her. She was asleep before he switched off the lamp and pulled her into his arms. 

***

Ren was at the Lab early the next morning and on his third Venti coffee. He cursed whoever was running a test that made a beep sound every thirty seconds. He checked the Lab logs like he did every morning to see if anyone had been here last night. He pulled out his phone.

_What were you doing in the Lab at 11:07PM until 1:47AM last night?_

_Snoke accosted me at my Lab yesterday. I panicked and ran my tests last night when no one was around._

_Holy shit! What’d they say?_

_I don’t want to have this convo over text, Ren_  
_Maz’s for lunch?_

God that beeping was really annoying. He looked around the room to see where it was coming from, but couldn’t pinpoint it. His team had their heads bent over computer screens and lab equipment. He frowned. Weird.

_Well, yeah, definitely now.  
You sure Angela didn’t see anything, lol_

_Umm, what?_

_That’s the only other person who keyed into the building last night. She’s a custodian, remember, the one who leaves cookies?_

_No, she wasn’t here. She must have let another guy use her code or something_  
_He was crawling around doing ductwork_  
_He had one ear_

_Umm, okay. And Rey, they hire people from outside to come do that stuff  
During the day_

_Well, he was definitely there, crawling into the ductwork by the Lab_

_At night. By himself_

_Yeah…_

A sickening feeling crept into the pit of Ren’s stomach. The beeping was coming faster now. He looked up towards the climate controlled room. Snoke had gone to see Rey yesterday. Ren knew Hux had had a meeting with him earlier that day too. Had he mentioned Rey’s work in the Con Lab? Hux couldn’t see past his own nose, but Snoke wasn’t an idiot.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

“Everyone out now!,” Ren screamed as a bright flash and a loud roar engulfed them all.


	16. Fallout, or Don't Tell Me that It's Over

Ren’s head hurt. Why did his head hurt? He tried to open his eyes, but a sharp stinging sensation made him close them again. He tried to move his fingers. He felt something rough beneath them. Gritty. He was lying on his stomach on something hard and gritty. Why was he on his stomach? An acrid smell flooded his nose. He coughed weakly. He registered a ringing in his ears. Other sounds started to filter through, screaming and crying. The wail of sirens. Authoritative voices shouting commands. 

“Over here! Get me a stretcher and some O2 STAT!” Something was shoving him over onto his back. He should help. He felt like a rock.

“Matt! Lift him on 3! 1...2...3!” Ren felt himself lifted and then plunked down on something hard. At least it wasn’t gritty, he thought. A mask was placed over his face, and Ren welcomed the clean smelling puffs. He felt his eyelids fluttering. Mmm, sleep sounded good.

“Stay with me, Buddy!” a different commanding voice ordered. Ren felt like flipping the guy off. He didn’t know how badly Ren wanted the sleep. How late he’d stayed up with Rey. Wait, where was Rey? Oh right. She was at work. He was at work, right? But work wasn’t gritty. Thinking made his brain hurt. Everything hurt. With great effort, he brought his fingers to his eye. It hurt there. It felt wet. Ren gave up trying to piece it all together and let the darkness take him.

The darkness apparently didn’t want to keep him. He heard hysterical shrieking and somebody trying to give orders, but he refused to open his eyes. He wanted his sleep, dammit. But then, something gentle and soft grabbed his hand. He cracked his good eye open. If he wasn’t getting O2, his breath might have left him, what little of it there was. It, she, was glowing, like an angel. Was he dead? He didn’t think so. He could barely make out blood and dirt on the angel’s white clothes. Angel’s typically didn’t wear dirty clothes. Maybe she was one of the nephilim. Yeah, that’s it. Half angel, half human. The nephilim was holding his hand to her face. He didn’t think he was worthy of that, but who was he, a mere mortal, to argue with a nephilim. 

Suddenly, the nephilim was pulled away. She was screaming that they wouldn’t take him away from her; she was fighting. Was it the devil? Had He come to take him away? He deserved it, but Ren was sad to see the nephilim go. He couldn’t fight it, so he let the darkness take him again.

***

Rey’s phone pinged with an unfamiliar sound. She frowned. She heard Kayleah’s make the same sound.

“Oh my God! A bomb went off on Central Campus!” Kayleah shrieked.

“What?!” Rey grabbed her phone. Indeed, the sound indicated she had an emergency alert from the University saying a bomb had been detonated. She’d heard a faint boom a few minutes ago, but she figured it was from the construction site down the street. She opened her text thread with Ren and sent him a message, asking if he’d heard anything. If he was okay. She waited for the three little dots indicating he was typing, but they didn’t come. Rey began to panic. She couldn’t open the emergency alert. 

“Rey…” Kayleah whispered, her voice barely audible. Rey looked up at her, panic written on her face. Kayleah was clutching her phone to her chest. “It was the Chemistry Building.”

Rey sprinted out of the lab as fast as her legs would carry her, kicking off the heels she’d worn on the way. She could barely hear Kayleah calling out behind, telling her the notification had said to shelter in place. Rey didn’t care. She had to get to the building. She had to get to Ren.

Normally, Rey would have taken one of the campus busses to get from her Lab on South Campus to the Chem Lab on Central Campus, but she ran the entire way, ignoring winter’s creeping chill, propelled by nothing but pure adrenaline. She saw smoke rising from the middle of campus and ambulances and fire trucks speeding past her, lights ablaze and sirens wailing. People were running past her, away from the place she was running towards. 

She reached the edge of the area the emergency personnel had cordoned off. It was chaos. Rey had never seen anything like it. Smoke and dust filled the area. Chucks of concrete and glass were all over the ground. Rey realized she was barefoot, but she didn’t care. The building still stood, but a chunk had been blown out. Staff and students were everywhere and emergency personnel were all over the scene. Rey pressed herself against the barrier and scanned for Ren’s tall dark form. She felt panic gripping her throat when she couldn’t see him amongst the bystanders. She felt eight years old again, alone and scared.

She felt a tug at the sleeve of her sweater. She looked over into the kind face of Emily, one of her students. The girl’s blue eyes were huge with fear, tear tracks running down her dust coated face.

“Doctor Jinn!” Emily exclaimed, hugging Rey. Rey returned the hug, patting the girl on the back, still keeping an eye on the stretchers being carried out. Rey swallowed thickly at the sight of a body bag. 

“Are you alright, Emily? Do you need to see an EMT?” Rey asked, trying to keep her mind from going to a dark place.

Emily shook her head. “No, my boyfriend Matt is an EMT and already looked at me and gave me the all clear. I’m glad you’re ok!”

Rey nodded absentmindedly. “Have you heard...how many casualties?” She needed to know.

A few fresh tears fell down Emily’s pretty face. “Just one. Duffy.”

Rey held her hand to her throat. Duffy McMasters was another of Rey’s students. He was a serious minded boy who’d had a bright future. Rey felt anger starting to take control over fear. She was going to destroy Snoke if it was the last thing she did.

Rey cleared her throat. “Emily, have you seen Doctor Solo or his team?”

Emily looked at her sadly and shook her head. “I can’t see too well from here though.” Her face brightened a little and she pointed over her shoulder. “There’s Matt!”

Rey looked to where Emily pointed. She saw a tall blonde man with glasses in a bright vest and another darker haired man running with a stretcher toward a waiting ambulance. She was surprised they were able to move so quickly because the person on the stretcher was pretty big... 

“Oh my God, Ren!” Rey screamed as she vaulted over the barrier and ran towards them, ignoring the shouts from Emily and the police officers behind her.

“Hey! Ma’am, you can’t cross the line! Hey!”

Rey ran, ignoring the pain shooting up her legs. She all but slammed into the ambulance as Matt and the other EMT reached it.

“Ren!” she wailed as she looked down at the bloody man on the stretcher. He had a gash across the one side of his face that already bore a scar. His clothes were torn and filthy, blood seeping through a few places. One arm dangled from the stretcher, and she reached for his hand, bringing it to her face. His good eye cracked open a sliver, and Rey felt his fingers twitch against her cheek.

Strong arms grabbed her from behind and began to pull her away. She screamed and fought, arms and legs flailing and kicking. She was probably giving the audience an eyeful, since she was wearing a skirt, but she didn’t care. They loaded Ren into the ambulance.

“You will not take me away from him!” she screamed. 

“Ma’am you can’t be here. It’s for your own safety!” the officer commanded, struggling to drag her away.

Rey didn’t listen. He’d have to arrest her. She kept fighting, intent on getting into the ambulance with Ren, when a deep calm voice interceded. “Ma’am, are you injured?”

Rey stopped kicking and looked at the blonde man, eyes wild.

“I’m Matt, an EMT. Are you injured?” Matt gestured to her feet. 

Rey looked down. Her feet were covered in dirt and blood. She looked at Matt again and nodded.

Matt looked at the police officer, still holding Rey around the middle. “It’s okay, Charlie. I’ll set her up in here. She’s cut up pretty bad.”

The officer grunted as Rey sprang away from him the second he loosened his grasp. Matt steadied her and guided her up into the ambulance. He slammed the doors shut and ordered her to sit on the bench opposite Ren’s stretcher. Matt began working on Rey’s feet while she watched Ren. She watched as his chest rose and fell, his breathing slow and deep thanks to the O2. She felt them moving.

“He’s stable. I’ll probably get my ass chewed out for letting you in here, but whatever. I thought my own girlfriend was dead for a minute, so you know...I get it. Boyfriend?” Matt asked as he finished wrapping her feet up, slipping a pair of those weird hospital booties over the bandages.

Rey looked at him. Boyfriend and girlfriend didn’t seem adequate enough a word for what they were to each other, but she nodded anyway.

Matt seemed to understand and maneuvered awkwardly towards the front of the ambulance, leaving her and Ren alone, more or less. Rey moved and seated herself on the floor beside Ren’s stretcher, resting her head awkwardly beside his shoulder. She wiped away the tears she wasn’t aware had been falling, probably since she’d first seen him carried out.

“Ren? I don’t know if you can hear me, but it’s Rey. I’m here. I’m not leaving you,” she murmured. 

Her eyes widened as she saw Ren’s arm lift and come up and over her, holding her head to his shoulder. Rey sighed as she felt his fingers thread through her hair. Her eyes drifted closed as they made their way to the hospital.


	17. Monsters,  or Stable Song

Ren was aware of Rey’s warmth beside him before he was aware of anything else. She was pressed tight against his side, one of her arms thrown protectively over his chest. He tried to move so he could hold her, but pain shot through him everywhere. He groaned and tried to crack his eyes open. Only one complied. He raised his free arm to touch the eye that wouldn’t open and encountered bandages. _Bandages? What the hell?_ He looked at his arm and saw cables and cords attached to different parts of his arm and hand. He followed them to a heart monitor and a bag of Ringer’s. Ren started to panic. He could hear the monitor’s beeping accelerating. 

“Rey?” Ren asked, his voice cracking from his sore throat. Why was his throat sore? What the hell happened?

He felt her stir beside him. “Hmm?”

“What...what happened? Why aren’t we at home? Rey...I’m...I’m scared,” he whispered.

Rey’s arm tried to hold him tighter. She wished she could wrap herself around him, protect him like he protected her, but she did what she could in the small hospital bed with Ren hooked up to an IV and a monitor. She rubbed soothing circles over his chest until his breathing slowed. 

Rey took a deep breath. “There was an explosion in the Chem Lab. You’re, we’re, in the hospital. You have a concussion and some pretty bad cuts and bruises, but ultimately you’re okay.”

Ren didn’t say anything for a few minutes. He couldn’t remember being in the Lab. “How long have I been out?”

“Not that long. They brought us in yesterday. It’s close to 6:00AM right now.” 

“How...why did the Lab explode?”

He felt Rey tense. “The police are still investigating,” she started to say. “Do you...remember what we were talking about yesterday...before?”

Ren tried to think, but shook his head. “I can’t remember,” he muttered, frowning.

“It’ll come back,” Rey murmured. “Just rest.”

Ren tried to relax. “I thought you were an angel yesterday. A nephilim come to take me away. I thought the Devil came to take me from you.”

Rey frowned. “Why would the Devil try to take you from me?”

Ren looked at his monitors. He’d avoided telling her about a lot of his past. He felt like an ass, since she’d been so open about hers, but he hadn’t been able to bring himself to tell her. Like she’d see him for the monster he was and leave him for something, someone better. Someone she deserved. Someone who wasn’t like the monsters she’d run from as a child.

“I’m a monster, Rey. I was so angry. All the time. And it’s still there, just under my skin,” he began quietly. “I knew I was smart, but my anger made me stronger, I figured that out early. Some people, bad people, used that. My parents, you know they were never really together, or around, they didn’t see what I was becoming. What I was doing. I’ve hurt people, Rey. I was good at it. They called me a mad dog.”

Rey raised herself up and looked down at him. Ren’s eyes were averted, staring intently at his monitors. She saw the shimmer of tears.

“When my parents finally found out, my mom used her connections to get me out, hide everything, had me help her bring down the gang I was a part of. Had me change my name so they couldn’t find me. Or to protect her reputation. Or both. She sent me to my uncle, Luke. He was more familiar with how to deal with me, having been in the same situation with my grandfather. Anger and gang membership skips a generation I guess. Or Uncle Luke is really that Zen. I’ve never really been able to figure him out. It’s all out in the open now, more or less, I mean, it’s no secret who I am anymore. But somehow the bad things I did stayed buried. Well, not somehow. Privilege buried it.”

The tears were falling in earnest now. “You deserve better than a monster, Rey,” he whispered. 

Rey looked down at him for a long while. “You’re not a monster. A monster wouldn’t have tried to change, much less succeeded. You’re a good person now,” she murmured.

Ren turned and looked at her, his eyes desperate and unbelieving. “I’ve done horrible things. I don’t deserve…”

Rey cut him off, “Yes, you _DID_. But you helped make things right by bringing the others to justice. You believe you should be punished for the wrong things you’ve done, but not rewarded for the things you’ve done right. If it helps to think of it this way, it looks to me like the karma scale is in balance. Let the past go. Let it die. It doesn’t define you anymore. What matters is what you do now. And I would know.”

Ren choked back a sob and crushed her to him, pain be damned. “You really are an angel,” he breathed into her hair.

Rey scoffed, “One, that’s cheesy, and two…” she leaned forward and nipped his ear, whispering, “I’m the furthest thing from and you know it.”

Ren gave a throaty chuckle. He couldn’t wait to get out of here.

Satisfied that he felt better, Rey disentangled herself from him and went to get them both some water. Gingerly walking back with the cups, she asked, “So, what is your real name then?”

“Technically, Ren Solo is my real name, since it was legally changed. But my birth name is Benjamin Organa-Skywalker. My mom and dad were never married, so my mom gave me her last name,” Ren replied matter of factly, taking the cup from her.

Rey hummed. “I’m still going to call you Ren. I’ve screamed it in bed, so you know, I’m kind of attached to it. So the best way to hide you was to give you your dad’s last name?”

Ren felt the tips of his ears turning pink. “I was in my early twenties. It wasn’t my smartest moment. Besides, Solo is a more common last name than Organa-Skywalker.” Looking at Rey’s feet, Ren raised an eyebrow. “Umm, Rey, what happened to your feet?”

Rey blushed. “I urm, ran to the Chem Building barefoot.” At the stunned look on his face, Rey said defensively, “I couldn’t very well run in heels.”

“I love you,” Ren whispered. Rey blushed at the intensity of his gaze and fiddled with her cup.

“I’m sorry, could you say that again?!” a distinguished voice interjected from the door before Rey could reply.

“Oh my God,” Ren groaned. “Mom, don’t act surprised. I’ve told you about Rey.”

Rey looked astonished from Ren to the small woman entering the room. She had a regal bearing, dark grey hair, and she looked vaguely familiar. Rey’s eyes widened when she realized she was looking at _Senator Organa-Skywalker_. Somehow she had not put two and two together. Rey was wondering how Ren had gotten so tall, she was pretty sure she was taller than the Senator, when an incredibly tall man walked in behind her. He was broad like Ren and square jawed, classically handsome and roguishly charming.

“Hey, Kiddo,” Han said, his hands in his pockets.

“Ben, you told me you were seeing her, you didn’t tell me you were in love with her!”

“Leia, give the kid a break,” Han said, smiling. “The fact that he told you about her at all should have been a sign.”

Leia gave a harrumph and stalked into the room. She strode over to Ren’s bed and planted a kiss on his forehead, giving his cheek a pat. “We’re so glad you’re ok, Sweetie.” 

She then turned her gaze, no less kind for its laser-like focus, to Rey. She strode over, practically floating over the floor, and held her hand out. “Leia Organa-Skywalker,” she stated warmly.

Rey took the older woman’s hand almost reverently. “Yes, I know who you are, Senator Organa-Skywalker. I’m so pleased to meet you,” Rey murmured.

“Leia, please,” Leia replied, smiling.

As Leia began to ask Rey about what the doctor had said about Ren’s condition and what had happened yesterday, Han pulled up a chair beside the hospital bed. Reaching out cautiously, he took Ren’s hand. Ren stared at it silently for a few minutes before looking at his father. He found Han staring at Leia, a sad wistfulness in his gaze. Han sighed and looked down.

“I’m so sorry, Son. For everything,” Han murmured.

Ren could only blink at his father. Never in his life had he heard Han apologize for anything. Needing to say something, he replied, “Well, it’s been suggested that I let the past go, so I guess I’ll start by saying I’m sorry too.”

“Who suggested that?”

Ren replied by looking at Rey and his mother. 

“Don’t ever let her go,” Han whispered so only Ren could hear. 

“I don’t plan on it. You know, Dad, it’s not too late. For you and Mom.” Almost dying had really made him maudlin.

“Maybe. But, I think that ship has sailed.”

“You never know.”


	18. Demons, or Puddles, Crowns, and Flowers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update took a bit. Was in a bad headspace.
> 
> We're nearing the end, Dear Readers!

Leia frowned as she listened to Rey recount the last several hours. She knew Snoke, and she knew how much he valued his reputation. HIs power. She knew what he was capable of when something threatened it. 

“Have you spoken to the police?” Leia asked, quietly. She didn’t want her son to overhear. He needed to heal.

“Not yet. They haven’t approached me,” Rey replied.

“I’ll find out who the officer in charge is and put you in touch right away. Odds are the man you saw that night is dead in a gutter somewhere on Snoke’s orders, but it’ll be a place to start.”

Rey looked at the Senator confused. “I thought he was a well-respected politician? I mean, I know he’s in favor of some draconian policies but…”

Leia cut Rey off before she could continue. “They’re not just draconian. They’re cruel. And he’s bought his politicians. And possibly had some...removed who were in his way. He’s more than just some dilettante, Rey. He is dangerous,” she sighed, looking over at Ren. “Very dangerous.”

“Senator? I mean, Leia?” Rey asked, concerned. She pulled her flashdrive from her pocket and fiddled with it.

“We’ve long suspected that Snoke runs a criminal empire that’s equal to his political one, but we have no concrete proof. When Ben got out…,” Leia shook her head.

“Wait, the gang Ren...I mean Ben...was in was Snoke’s? Does he know?” 

Leia looked at Rey as if she was surprised she knew about that part of Ren’s past, but continued on, “I don’t think so. One of Snoke’s lieutenants ran it. We were hoping to prove that Snoke was the man at the top, but Snoke was...is...too careful. I would have had to send Ben back in, and I won’t sacrifice my son.”

Rey was confused. Nothing about the last few days seemed like the actions of a careful man, much less a sophisticated crime boss. She touched her temple, feeling a headache coming on.

“Rey? Are you alright?” Ren asked, concerned.

Rey turned away from her unpleasant conversation with Leia and smiled weakly at Ren. “Just getting a headache,” she replied meekly, aware of everyone’s eyes on her.

Ren held his arms out to her, not caring that his mother had the biggest grin on her face and his dad was trying to hide a smirk, and not very well. Her cheeks pinking slightly, Rey crawled in the hospital bed under the warm blanket beside Ren. He held her in his arms and gave his parents what he hoped was a “shoo” look.

Taking the cue, Han said, “Alright, we get the hint. We’ll be back in a little while though, so make sure you’re decent.”

“Da-ad, we’re in a damn hospital,” Ren grumbled.

Han rolled his eyes in response. That would never have stopped him, and he didn’t think it’d stop his son either.

“Just try to get some rest, Ben,” Leia admonished. To Rey, she asked, “What’s that you’re holding, Dear?”

Rey remembered she was clutching the flash drive. “Oh, just my drive with the chemical test results I told you about. I need to get it to my boss, Doctor Holdo.” 

“Oh, Amilyn? She’s an old friend. I can take it to her now, if you’ll permit me,” Leia enthused. “You need your rest too.”

Rey looked at Leia gratefully. “Thanks. She’ll know what’s on it when you say it’s from me.”

Leia took the drive from Rey gingerly, like it might explode if handled improperly. “I’ll text Ben when I’ve given it to her. Ben, make sure to send me a screenshot of the conversation you had with Rey before the explosion. I need to give it to the police,” Leia said matter of factly.

“Thank you,” Rey said again, her eyes drifting closed.

“Umm, ok, Mom,” Ren replied at the same time, confused as to why his conversation with Rey had to be given to the police. _What had they talked about, again?_ He grabbed his phone and sent the picture before he forgot, skimming the conversation as he did. _Oh. Ohhhh._ It all came rushing back to him. He knew what was on that drive too. He held Rey tighter.

Leia and Han took their leave quietly, Han making sure to close the door softly on his way out.

“So, those are your parents?” Rey asked quietly.

“Yeah,” Ren replied, stroking her hair gently.

“They’re nice. They really love you, you know,” Rey murmured, nuzzling into Ren’s neck and inhaling deeply.

Ren hummed. “I remember what happened. Yesterday,” he said softly. “Do you really think Snoke blew up the lab because of your test results?”

Rey stilled, her hand gripping his hospital gown tightly. “Yes. Your mom thinks so too. Although she has no idea why he’d do something so obvious and careless.”

Ren frowned. “The police will figure it out.”

“I hope so. All of this seems...wrong I guess,” Rey said, frustrated she couldn’t find the right word. She had the nagging sensation there was something else going on here. 

Ren laughed softly, his breath ruffling her hair. “That’s certainly one word for it.”

Rey smiled into his neck, pressing a soft kiss against his warm skin.

Ren felt his blood stir, warm and rushing. He leaned closer to whisper darkly into her ear, “You know, the nurse won’t be in for rounds again for at least twenty minutes.”

Rey looked up into Ren’s eyes, dark with want, her mouth slightly agape, ”Ren, you said so yourself, we’re in a hospital.”

In spite of the IV in his arm and his general state, he deftly flipped her around so her back was pressed against his front and they were both on their sides. Ren winced slightly at the pain, but he quickly moved past it. He unclipped his monitor, making sure to hit the ‘Pause’ button on the screen so it wouldn’t beep and alert the nurse’s station. Rey gasped at how hard he already was, her core igniting.

“How fast can you come for me, Rey?”

“I guess that depends,” Rey replied boldly. “How good do you think you are?”

“Let’s find out,” he replied in a husky whisper as his hand snaked up her skirt, pulling it up and to the side out of the way. 

He found the band of her underwear and pulled them down with Rey’s help. His fingertips parted her velvet folds, and he smiled against her shoulder when he found she was already wet. He gently bit her shoulder, and Rey moaned softly.

“Shh, Sweetheart. Can’t have you letting the whole floor know you’re getting fucked in here.”

Rey whimpered, biting down on her knuckle to keep quiet. His thumb softly circled her stiff nub as his fingers continued to stroke and tease until Rey was a whimpering mess, thrusting against him. She pressed her backside against his hardness, causing Ren to elicit a low thrum from deep in his throat.

“Please,” Rey begged, her voice barely above a whisper, as she pressed against him again.

Ren kissed her shoulder as he pulled his fingers away, leaving a trail of moisture across her thigh. He yanked his hospital gown to the side and lined himself up. The position was awkward, but damn it all if he didn’t need this. Rey pushed her hips back, her back arched as best she could manage to make things easier. He entered her slowly, a death by inches if there ever was one, until he was hilted fully inside her. 

A moan came out of Rey, stifled as it was by her now bruised knuckle. Ren kissed the soft skin at Rey’s neck as he began to thrust, turning into a bite as he tried to stifle his own sounds of pleasure. His hand reached around again to stroke her dripping folds. He circled her clit gently as he thrust again and again into her. His climax was close, but he fought it back.

“Come for me, Sweetheart,” he growled against her neck. “I need you to come for me.”

She needed no further encouragement. Rey gave a few quiet sobs as she felt herself finally let go, her intimate muscles spasming around Ren’s hard cock. 

Feeling her twitches, Ren groaned as he released into her, thrusting softer with each throb as her muscles tried to hold him in.

He sighed deeply against her heated skin as he withdrew. Before he completely passed out, Ren made sure to reattach his monitors. Rey scuttled out of the bed and readjusted her underwear and skirt before she crawled back in, but over the blanket this time. She held her arm out so Ren could nuzzle into her neck, wrapping it protectively over his shoulder, her other holding his elbow. He murmured something unintelligible as he drifted off, his hand over her thrumming heart. 

Rey knew she needed to go home, shower and change clothes, pick up her things from the Lab, text her friends. But when she looked down, Ren looked so at peace, the lines of his face relaxed in sleep, Rey could only hold him tighter, as if her slim arms could protect him from all his demons and the danger she felt around them both.

***

Ren’s hospital room felt like a bus terminal for the next several hours. In addition to the doctor and nurses stopping by to talk to Ren and take his vitals every so often, Connix came by to give Rey her messenger bag, phone, and shoes.

“Figured you’d need these,” Connix said. “Holdo said and I quote ‘If that blasted thing goes off one more time I am smashing it in the book press.’”

“Thanks,” Rey replied gratefully. Her friends must be worried sick. Not to mention Mrs. Lao.

Connix gave her a smile. “Oh, I grabbed these out of the bottom drawer in your desk. Figured you’d rather have these on than heels, considering your feet must be torn to shreds the way you were running.” She handed a tote bag to Rey. Peering in, Rey saw the pair of Tom’s she kept in her desk in case she wanted a change of shoes. 

Rey surprised Connix by throwing her arms around her and hugging her fiercely, mindful of her intricate double bun hair style. Connix patted Rey’s back reassuringly. “No need to get emotional, Rey. Just being a good intern.”

Rey and Connix laughed.

“Hey, what’s going on out here?” said Ren coming out of the bathroom.

“Nothing. Kayleah just brought me my stuff.”

Connix smiled at Ren. “Glad to see you’re okay. We were worried about you.”

“We?” Ren asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Connix was about to answer when she saw Ren’s eyes widen. 

“Yeah, ‘we,’” Luke said, walking in behind Connix. He had his hands in his pockets, his shoulders in their usual slump. He looked almost sheepish. His clear blue eyes regarded him with what Ren could only describe as a hopeful wariness.

“Doctor Skywalker?” Rey said, coming to stand in front of Ren, as if to shield him. Luke’s clear gaze shifted to her momentarily before moving back to Ren. If he was surprised to see her there, he didn’t show it. 

Ren put his hand on her shoulder, pushing her back as he approached the older man. He looked at Luke, his gaze searching. He and his uncle had their differences. Luke and he had fought bitterly over his academic choices and his relationship with his parents, among other things. Their personalities were polar opposites. But Luke had taken him in and helped him when no one else could. If anyone understood the anger and pain inside Ren, it was Luke. 

Ren sighed deeply. This probably wasn’t something he should bring up in front of Rey’s intern, but he wasn’t sure how long this current wave of wanting-to-put-the-past-behind-him would last. “I’m sorry for what I put you through, Uncle Luke. All those years ago. You were only trying to help. And you did. I just...didn’t see it then,” he said quietly.

Rey swore she saw tears in Luke’s eyes. “You have so much of your grandfather in you, Ben. It’s a tough legacy to bear. But that’s not a bad thing!” Luke added when he saw Ren’s face tense up. “He was a man who felt deeply and loved fiercely. I should have been more patient with you, like I was with him. You have nothing to be sorry for,” Luke replied in a calming voice. 

Ren was frozen. No one had talked about Anakin Skywalker like Luke did. People always avoided talking about him, and if they mentioned him at all, it was stories of what a precocious boy he had been. Rey nudged Ren in the back, urging him forward. Taking the hint, Ren and Luke hugged, albeit awkwardly, before Ren went back to his bed. 

Turning to Rey, Luke pointed to her and then to his nephew. “So, how long have you guys been a thing?”

Both Rey and Ren blushed. Rey wasn’t sure why; they had nothing to be embarrassed about. Rey heard Connix snicker. 

“Since the summer,” Connix said when an answer didn’t seem to be forthcoming from Rey or Ren.

Luke opened his mouth to say something, but before he could, the distinct commanding voice interjected again, “I’m sorry, since _when_?!”

Ren put his face in his hand. “Oh my God, Mom, really?” he muttered.

Rey and Ren then spent the next several minutes recounting the story of their meeting to Leia’s satisfaction. Rey introduced Connix, to whom Leia gave a warm hug and said, “Love your hair.”

A nurse eventually came around and shooed everyone but Rey away. Before she left, Leia handed Rey a card.

“This is the name and number of the officer in charge. He’ll be coming around tomorrow to get statements from you and Ben,” Leia said.

Rey nodded gravely. When everyone was gone, Rey turned and saw Ren sitting on the edge of the bed, his shoulders slumped. She went over, concerned. Standing in front of him, she saw that he was smiling. He pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her hips and resting his head against her stomach. Rey stroked his hair gently, watching her fingers run through the dark locks.

“What’s the matter?” she asked.

“Nothing. Nothing at all,” he answered.

***

Rey did eventually leave to go back to the brownstone later that day. She spent the Uber ride calling her friends and reassuring them that yes, she was alive. Yes, she was very sorry for making them worry. Yes, they could come over for pancakes soon. She spent even longer with Mrs. Lao, who had demanded that Rey stay and eat some food before she even thought about going to her apartment. Rey had again apologized profusely. Mrs. Lao gave her a stern look before breaking into tears and hugging Rey in a vice-like grip. Rey broke down too, the weight of the last several hours hitting her like a ton of bricks. Mrs. Lao made calming shushing noises and patted Rey on the back.

Rey eventually made it up to her apartment, where she took probably the best shower of her life. When she got out, she wrapped some gauze around her feet. They were feeling better, although they still looked horrible. She put some thick socks on before she slipped on some jeans and a scoop neck t-shirt. She threw on a cardigan and her comfiest shoes-a ratty pair of Converse-before she grabbed her coat and left again. 

It was night now, but she needed to get back to the hospital. The halls were dimmed for the night by the time she got to Ren’s floor. She turned the corner, and stopped suddenly. There were two men outside Ren’s door. Rey quickened her pace. The men barely spared her a glance when she went through the door. They were in dark, expensive looking suits with ear pieces and red ties. 

Rey walked in cautiously. The room was dark save for the light over the nurse’s counter. Ren’s monitor was beeping steadily, and he appeared to be asleep. Maybe Leia had posted some guards or something. She’d obviously been back since Ren was in sweats and a t-shirt instead of his hospital gown. Rey was about to breathe a sigh of relief when a glimmer in the corner caught her eye.

“What are you doing here?” she snarled as Snoke rose from the chair like a snake.

Snoke made a tsking sound. “Now now Miss Doctor Jinn, there’s no need to be rude. Of course, that’s about what I’d expect from someone with your...background. Do tell me darling Rey of Jakku, does Unkar Plutt ever feature in you nightmares? He did in mine until I had him killed for being sloppy. He panicked when your parents told him they wanted out and took matters into his own disgusting hands. In a way, I suppose I should thank you for that. He was nothing but a problem.”

Rey’s composure faltered. Her breathing stopped. “Wh-what?” she stammered.

“You think I wouldn’t have my people look into my mad dog’s little whore? I’ll admit, it took some time after Hux told us about you. Oh, you’re surprised? Hux is wonderful at presenting an air of arrogant obliviousness. That’s what makes him a wonderful asset. But I digress.”

Snoke was in front of her now, so close she could feel his angry breath on her face. She took an instinctual step back. Her eyes were wide. She was shaking. 

“I know all about you, little guttersnipe. You come from nothing. You are worthless. Certainly not worth the attention of someone like Benjamin. I had such hope for him. The grandson of Anakin Skywalker, the captain for Sheev Palpatine, and so powerful in his own right. His anger and violence was something beautiful to behold. I had hoped that he would inherit what I built. When the time was right, he would have come to me to complete his training. But he left it all, and for what?! This academic life is an insult to his true talents. And you, you’re nothing. Less than nothing.”

Snoke reached out and before Rey could even process the motion, his cold fingers were around her throat. She gasped and choked as his boney grasp tightened around her windpipe. She tried to call out to Ren, but the air wouldn’t come.

“Oh don’t bother,” Snoke hissed, seeing her gaze fall to Ren. “He’s quite out of it.”

“Why...why did you…” Rey struggled to get out. Despite his frail appearance, Snoke was strong, his grip relentless.

Snoke cocked his head at her. “Oh, you still think that whole business was about you and that document. Silly girl. I’ll admit, I hadn’t expected anyone to catch my editing, but no matter. An embarrassment to be sure, but nothing I can’t make disappear. No, I needed to send Benjamin a message. Once you’re in, you can’t get out. Especially not him, he is the only one worthy!” 

Snoke’s eyes were filled with rage and an obsessive insanity that frightened Rey. “Perhaps I should kill you now. That would send a stronger message, I think.”

“How would killing me send a message? Ren has no idea you were in charge of the gang he was in,” Rey managed to choke out, still struggling in Snoke’s grasp. She needed to get out. Her vision was starting to blur.

“Trust me, he’d figure it out when he saw your body,” Snoke sneered. 

Rey paled, her struggles turning desperate. She stilled when she heard a ‘click’ behind Snoke. He turned rapidly, his grip on Rey loosening. She gave a few desperate gasps, trying to get air into her lungs.

“Let. Her. Go,” Ren growled, his voice dangerously low and guttural. He was pointing a pistol at Snoke’s head. Rey hadn’t even seen the holster at Snoke’s side, but Ren had managed to come up behind him and get it out without Snoke noticing.

Snoke laughed. “My my not enough Morphine I see. I suggest you put my gun down, Benjamin, or I’ll end your little whore’s life here and now.”

Ren lowered his arm, but did not drop the gun. He was glaring at Snoke. The expression on his face was one Rey hoped never to see again. It was cold, calculating, terrifying.

“Good boy. Now, I recommend you both come with me. You’re so much better at listening when she’s around Benjamin. We’ll keep her alive so long as you behave. Guards!”

The two suits came in, their guns out, one approaching Rey and the other approaching Ren. Rey knew they could not get in that car.

The one on Ren reached for the gun, but in a blur, Rey heard a _pop_ and the guard was on the floor, a puddle of red pooling around his stomach. Another _pop_ and the guard on her was on the ground beside her, a crown of red around his head. Ren’s cold gaze was on Snoke, the gun pointed at Snoke’s face.

Neither man said anything as they stared at each other. Rey could hear hospital staff running towards their room. Ren began to lower the gun, and a triumphant smile cracked across Snoke’s face. Another _pop_. A red flower bloomed out from Snoke’s chest, his triumphant smile replaced by a look of shock.

“I’m not your mad dog,” Ren whispered, the gun dropping from his fingers as hospital security burst into the room.


	19. Signs in Blue, or Soul Meets Body

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to hug each and every one of you precious angels. The support and love you've given to this project has been overwhelming.  
> It ended up being 91 pages in Word doc form, just FYI.  
> And we've reached the end! I hope you find it fitting :O)

It wasn’t hard to convince the police that the three dead bodies in the hospital room were the result of self defense. Ren still had Morphine in his system and Rey had bruises around her neck. It also helped that Ren had recorded the whole thing on his phone when Snoke thought he was unconscious. Snoke may have been a criminal mastermind, but he was no doctor and hadn’t given Ren enough of the drug to knock him out. When he handed his phone over to the police a few days later when he was released from the hospital, everything was more or less settled. In addition, Leia’s background as a lawyer and her influence as a senator kept the police from looking too deeply into Ren’s past as Benjamin Organa-Skywalker. 

“His record was expunged as a result of his agreeing to help bring down the gang anyway,” Leia had assured Rey. “They have no reason to look into him further.”

Rey was thankful for that, but she couldn’t shake the unsettling feelings that had settled over her. She felt uneasy and scared. Shell shocked. And exhausted. Mostly exhausted.

Rey had gone with Ren to his house when he finally settled his business with the police. The University had placed him on administrative leave until they sorted everything out. Hux had been summarily dismissed. As it turns out, the one thing that could circumvent tenure is being on a mob boss’ payroll. Rey decided if anything deserved a vacation, almost getting strangled certainly did, so she went to the Lab and informed Holdo and Connix that she was going to be out for a few weeks. Holdo had practically thrown her out of the building.

“For God’s sake, Rey, you could have emailed! Shoo! Get some rest!” she had exclaimed.

Rey sat at Ren’s kitchen table as he threw clothes into a suitcase. Rey had asked if he could come stay at her place for a while. He had agreed readily. He was afraid that after what she’d seen, she’d want nothing to do with him, but that didn’t seem to be the case. She had been quiet and distant since the...incident, but she hadn’t left him. And when she asked him to stay with her, his heart soared with relief. But he was worried.

When his bag was packed, he walked into the kitchen to get Rey and found her with her head on the table, asleep. He touched her shoulder gently.

“Hey, I’m packed. Ready to go home?” he asked softly.

“Mmhmm,” Rey mumbled as she stumbled out of the chair. Ren had to catch her as she tipped too far forward. _What the hell is going on?_ Rey thought. 

“Whoa, Rey, be careful!” Ren scolded gently. _Something’s wrong. Maybe she’s not sleeping._ They hadn’t been able to spend nights together in a while because of everything with the hospital, the police, and the University, so Ren had no idea if she was sleeping alright or not. An idea struck him.

“Hey, I need to stop by Target for a second. You can sleep in the cab; I’ll only be a minute,” he said. Luckily there was one more or less on the way to her apartment.

“Mmk,” Rey mumbled again.

Rey fell asleep against his shoulder on the way and barely noticed when he got out of the cab. Ren ran in and bought a few sets of sheets, a few packs of pillows, and a couple blankets and ran back out. Apparently Rey had found the energy to get out of the cab and run to the pharmacy, since she was clutching a bag when he got back in.

“Tylenol,” she muttered before stuffing it into her bag. “What’s with all the sheets and pillows?”

“You’ll see,” Ren said cryptically.

Rey let it drop and fell back asleep against his shoulder.

When they got to the brownstone, Ren threw the sheets and blankets into the wash to get rid of the chemically smell. Rey had wandered off to the bathroom. Ren ordered some Chinese food and waited for Rey to get out of the bathroom. He transferred everything to the dryer and threw in some extra Bounce sheets. The Chinese food came and went into the fridge. Rey still wasn’t out of the bathroom. He frowned and went to the door. 

Giving it a knock, he asked, “Rey, are you ok?”

No answer.

“Rey, I’m coming in,”he said, worried now. He tried the knob, finding it unlocked. He saw no sign of Rey. He looked frantically around, as if there were places she could hide in a bathroom. Turns out there was one. He found her curled on her side in the bathtub.

“Rey, what the hell?! Are you ok?!” he exclaimed, kneeling beside the tub, bracing his hands on the edge. 

When she didn’t answer, Ren sat back on his heels and sighed. “Are you scared of me, Rey?”

No answer again. She was staring into middle distance and shaking. Assuming the fact that he had shot and killed three people in front of her had finally caught up to her, Ren started to babble.

“I...I won’t apologize for what I did to Snoke and those guards, Rey. They were going to kill you, and probably me eventually. I would never be Snoke’s ‘heir’ or whatever the hell he thought I was. I am sorry you had to see that...that part of me. I told you once it was there, just under my skin. Seeing Snoke strangle you, hearing the things he said, I just let it take over again. I needed to protect you. Protect myself. I hope you can see that,” Ren said. “I know I need to reconcile who I was with who I want to be, but I can’t do that without you, Rey. But, if you want to leave, I won’t blame you,” he finished mournfully. What woman in her right mind would stay with him?

“You’re leaving me?” a small voice said from the bottom of the tub.

Ren raised his head from where he’d rested it on his knees. He came to the edge of the tub again and looked down. Rey was looking up at him, her eyes large and swimming with tears.

Ren reached for her, exclaiming “Of course not, Sweetheart! Only if you tell me to.” 

Rey grabbed his arms, hoisting herself up to sit on her hip. “Never!” she practically shouted.

Ren heard the dryer ding. 

“I’ll be right back. I promise,” he said when Rey grabbed his sleeves.

He went to the dryer and pulled out the sheets and blankets. He put the pillowcases on the new pillows, grabbed the pillows and blankets from Rey’s bed and guest bed, and threw everything into a big pile in her living room, arranging everything just so.

He walked back into the bathroom to find Rey chewing on her thumbnail, perched on the edge of the tub.

“I made a nest. Will you come out?” Ren asked.

Rey looked up at him, still chewing her nail. She nodded. Ren bent and scooped her up and carried her to the living room to his blanket pillow pile. He set her down on the couch and stripped down to his boxers and crawled in, holding the blankets up for Rey. Rey followed his lead and stripped down to her bra and underwear and crawled in beside him. Ren wrapped his arms around her and held her against him, his warm skin and the freshly dried sheets warming her.

“I thought you were going to leave me because of what Snoke said,” Rey whispered.

Ren held her tighter. “No. And he was wrong. Remember what I told you, that morning after the night at the bar?”

Rey nodded. “I’m not nothing.”

“That’s right. And you’re everything to me,” Ren whispered against her hair.

“And I’m not scared of you. I know why you did what you did, and I think the world is a better place for it. Honestly, I would have done the same thing,” Rey said fiercely.

Ren held her tighter. “You’re everything to me.”

“Hold that thought,” Rey said cautiously. She had no idea how he was going to take this. She didn’t even know how she was taking it. “Ren...I need to tell you something. You know how when I was in the hospital with you for a few days I didn’t have any of my stuff?”

Ren chuckled, “Yeah.”

“And then I was so out of it for so long I forgot to do a lot of things I normally did everyday. Like eat. Or take my vitamins. And my pills.”

Ren stilled. “Rey…,” he breathed.

Rey reached out of the blanket fort for her jeans. She reached into the back pocket and pulled out the stick. She handed it to him. There is was, the blue ‘+’ unmistakeable. Ren stared at the pregnancy test, dumbfounded. 

“I didn’t get Tylenol,” Rey said. “I didn’t want to say anything until I saw the test. Ren, please say something,” Rey whimpered.

Ren looked up at her, his eyes wide. She was sitting cross legged in front of him, her arms clasped around her chest, as if she was trying to hold in her nerves. She looked terrified. Ren tossed the test aside and grabbed Rey, holding her tightly in their blanket fort. He stroked her hair as his other hand skimmed down her front and rested on her stomach. He rained gentle kisses down on her lips, her cheeks, her neck, anywhere he could reach. Anything to reassure her that he was there for her, and he wasn’t going anywhere.

“I love you. I love you both. And I always will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got two more fics in the works plus the one that's started on here already, both Reylo of course (I'm not really on any other 'ships, except maybe Kastle but I have no ideas for that one), so stay tuned iffin you wish


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